That Fateful Day

I remember that day clearly; it was 19th November 2016, mum was in the kitchen and I had packed my bag, set to leave for Nkechi Emelumadu's house. There had been a lot of tension because of the fierce family discussions that preceded that moment. As I came into the Kitchen to tell her I was about going to my friend's house, what would have been a brief goodbye turned into solemn moment of tears.

With tears in her eyes, my Mom begged "Amaka what your mom begged you and you refused, who else will beg you before you let go? You know how much we love you and how high the expectations we have of you are, don't you see that this place you are going to is far from us, do you know anybody there? How can one be sure you will be fine there? Nne must you marry this man, must it have to be him? You are still too young, at least come of age a little before daring such risks. Why are you doing this to us? Amaka don't do this to me, who around us here went that far? Nobody. Why you? Biko nwa m".

By the time she was done, I was heartbroken. If this was what I would have let go of, I would have done it in that instant rather than seeing my mom helplessly in tears. No mother deserved that. But I found my voice and said "Mom, I have tried but I am convinced God wants me to do this. I may not be able to prove it, but I know it within me, this feels right. This feels like it. Just like me Mom, you are a woman. Have you ever considered how I would feel, if I let go of this and end up with someone that I am not really convinced about, just so everyone else would be happy?

I needn't say more before my mom broke into deep sobs, that kind of sobbing that clearly showed she was letting go of her beautiful wishes and intentions for me, just to let me have what I believed was God's will for myself. I saw the sacrifice in those deep groans as she sobbed. Every mother has vision and dreams for their children but there and then, I saw her crush that particular dream. I saw her bury her feelings and her wants, her ego and desire. In those tears, I saw her choose me. Although we had fought fiercely on the opposite sides of this issue for over a year and 6months at that time, but from that day onward, she stood by me in support and good counsel, and knelt (literally, not figure of speech) every morning and night in prayers for God's will to prevail. She fasted, she hoped and she advised with clarity and objectivity.

I shudder when I read stories of how mothers give wrong counsel to their daughters. My mom tries hard daily to drill it into my head that my husband's people are my people. She would often say "Kedu ife ndi be unu na akpo ife a?" (What do your people call this...?"). When in confusion I ask "which people are you referring to? ", she immediately straightens me up: "Your people; you are now part of them". Mom would not only ask me after my in-laws but will often say "Hope you call them? When last did you call your mother-in-law? Oya call her after this call right now, she is your mother too". The day I knew I have odi uko na mba as a mom, was one day while we were discussing and I casually mentioned that I would have preferred a certain thing but well shaa Bobo prefers this (which was the fitting option but not exciting for the purpose, baby girl wanted some butterflies ) . My mom immediately said " Shut up there! And behave like the child I raised, don't stress that man o, don't stress him at all, he is my son now too".

Mothers are possessive but my mom doesn't mind sharing affections. She would often say that if other mothers didn't willingly share affections among herself and their own children, who would have taught a motherless child like her which way to turn in the days she needed it badly, considering the fact that she was an orphan? My mom is pure! Her heart is gold. If you think she is beautiful (I know she is lol...her younger pictures show that she is finer than all her children) , wait until you encounter her heart.

This woman right here taught me how to be hardworking, how to be resilient, how to love deeply and how to be strong enough to stand your ground. She taught me how to say your mind without being trampled upon but also how to be loyal, considerate, accommodating and very tolerating. She taught me how to be bold, independent yet submissive. Personally, I call her Akpa uche (bag of sense). If you stay one month with my mom and you didn't wise up and become smart, trust me, na deliverance remain o. How one person can be a mixture of ice cold and fiercely hot, yet living a balanced life beats my imagination.