The diary game 23/3/26; The Quiet Struggle of Unmotivated Days.

Dear dairy

All days are not the same. Some come with gusto and the activities you have lined up for the day makes you go all up and doing and then with all that energy you go through all your day and finally you are happy at the end that you have achieved so much.

What happens to days when it’s not as above? What happens to some days when you you wake up and seem lost on where to start from? Well, maybe not lost or maybe because there’s so much you think you’ve gat to do that you don’t seem to find the energy to actually begin.

work time

Well, my Monday was off to a not too energetic start. After my morning routines and praying and reading my Bible. I had to join an online meeting in our company that I didn’t want to join. Even as I write this, I remember vividly the way I felt that morning.

Well, I was definitely not in the mood to listen to another motivational speech from anyone who wants to tell me what to do to push my business. The last thing I wanted to hear was anyone’s voice trying to motivate me. I didn’t need motivation. I needed respite from all the expectations of adult hood.

Adulthood is already a lot as if we don’t have enough expectations to deal with already. While in the meeting, I kept having the urge to exit the meeting. This girl child was just tired. Well, I stayed. Discipline they say is the ability to do what you are supposed to do whether you feel like it or not. Maybe for once I have to exercise some discipline I thought.

breakfast calls

In laid down on the floor while listening along to the presentation and questions from the meeting. Sis brought a plate of breakfast for me. I thanked her and ate while still in the meeting. We were supposed to go to a meeting together but I had other works to do. I had to defer.

After the meeting, my battery was low. I had to let my phone charge briefly while I went ahead to sweep and clean the room and the balcony which has been invested with dust. After cleaning, I took a nap while waiting for the phone to charge.

After the phone was charged, it was time to resume work. First, I had to work on our ministry devotional for the month of April. I didn’t finsh up cos the tool I was using needed time to reboot but I spent more than an hour working on it.

cleaning time

Next was to move on the dad’s statement filling on my computer. My now it was already evening. I thought I was going to be able to finish up this work by the previous weekend but I didn’t realize the enormity of that work.

Well, I had to continue from where I stopped. I worked for some hours and by 9pm, I was already fagged out. Meanwhile sis was back from her days outing. I had to take corn flakes for dinner.

dinner calls

We had another online meeting by 10pm. I had to shuffle in between the meeting and also continuing with filling the excel database. By 11pm, my eyes and entire system seemed to be shutting down.

I felt I was going to faint if I pushed me more. I had to log out of the meeting before it even ending. I shut down my laptop. Put up my legs on the bed, put my phone on flight mode and went to bed peacefully. A day that started with no bearing ended up being a little productive and I am glad I achieved something tangible.