"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie - My Review and Thoughts by @juanmolina.

in OCD4 years ago

I want to congratulate @crypto.piotr for always coming up with new ways to improve the training level of Project Hope members.

This totally selfless action on his part really makes him an exceptional human being.


How to Win Friends and Influence People

by Dale Carnagie


Excellent reading choice.
This is a book released in October 1936, however its content remains totally current and practical to be applied in the real life of our times.

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Who Was Dale Carnegie?

Born into poverty on November 24, 1888, in Maryville, Missouri, Dale Carnegie worked as a traveling salesman before teaching public speaking at a YMCA. His seminal self-help book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, won him a national following and enabled him to expand the Dale Carnegie Institute into countries around the world. He died in 1955 in Queens, New York.

More Information and Resources

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My Analysis

The book is divided into 4 parts:

(I) Fundamental Techniques for Relating.

To begin we must begin with a deep self-analysis that allows us to eliminate the negative aspects of our personality. Although then this poses us to face one of the greatest challenges of our lives.

We must avoid transmitting negative feelings to other people.
For this we find two basic tips:

  • Appreciate other people.
  • Arouse the interest of other people.

(II) Techniques for Pleasing Other People.

  • Show true interest in people.
  • Learn to smile.
  • Remember the names of others.
  • Listen to others.
  • Talk to others about their own interests.
  • Make other people feel that you really care.

(III) Make other people think similarly to us.
This section teaches us techniques to dominate a conversation and gradually bring our interlocutor to the point that really interests us, but without making the other feel manipulated.

For this we must bear in mind the following points:

  • Avoid arguing.
  • Begin the conversation by highlighting the aspects where both parties agree.
  • Do not expose the weaknesses of the other.
  • Recognize and admit one's mistakes.
  • Be very kind to the interlocutor.
  • Give the other the opportunity to participate openly in the conversation.
  • Make sure the other feels like the author of our good ideas.
  • Empathize
  • Be expressive, gesturally and bodily.
  • Propose achievable challenges.

(IV) Be a Leader.
This is perhaps the most difficult part to accomplish since there is no recipe for it.
I particularly think that not all of us can be leaders, I believe that there is an innate condition to achieve it.
Although we can all give it a try and we will probably achieve acceptable levels of leadership.

Among CARNEGIE's recommendations to become a leader are:

  • Always start speaking with the positive aspects.
  • Point out the weaknesses of others in a very subtle and indirect way.
  • First highlight our own weaknesses before pointing out those of other people.
  • Try to give orders, without these instructions feeling like a mandatory imposition.
  • Never make the other person feel humiliated.
  • Always recognize, highlight and reinforce with positive encouragement the good work and ability of others.
  • Try to draw a positive and fully feasible panorama in the face of challenges. Not focusing on difficulties.

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Personal anecdote

Once, I was commenting on this book with a great friend, and he told me an anecdote that made me reflect:

He told me about a man whom he knew many years ago. This man was very successful, he had a fairly successful small business.
But he was characterized by having a great magnetism with people and knew how to approach them and gain their trust.
Later, my friend learned that this man was putting into practice the advice in the CARNEGIE book.

Reflections

The negative aspect of all this is that this man was a hypocrite with people. He was just trying to take advantage of them and blatantly using the techniques in the book to his advantage.

Conclusion

The smartest thing we can do is try to keep the teachings of the book always present and incorporate them into our daily routine. To the extent that they are part of our subconscious actions.

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@juanmolina


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excelente redacción!

I'm glad you liked it.
Thanks.

Thanks for this post.

I think somebody recommended this book to me, I acquired it but still pending to read. Good review.

Thanks for stopping by.

I also would recommend reading it @aschatria

Dear @juanmolina

I want to congratulate @crypto.piotr for always coming up with new ways to improve the training level of Project Hope members.

And I would like to thank you for recommending this book in the first place. Just like you've said: Excellent reading choice.

I particularly think that not all of us can be leaders, I believe that there is an innate condition to achieve it.

You nailed it. It's little bit like being a parent. Not everyone can become good parent. Mostly because it would mean, that everyghing it's no longer about you -> now it's about your kids.
Being a leader means that it's no longer all about you -> now it's all about people you lead.

Good read. Upvoted already :)

Have a great weekend ahead,
Yours, Piotr

I appreciate it.