Being a victim is a choice

Hello my fellow bloggers! Today I want to raise a very complex topic. I will talk about things that many will not enjoy reading. Yet I still think the post can be helpful for some of us.

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Life is not easy. Often things are going not as we want them to. We can’t control the world around us. Weather, politics, economy and many other conditions influence us in a certain way. It is especially painful when those who matter to us behave in a way that hurt us. It is easy to feel yourself a victim. You did nothing wrong, you worked hard to achieve your goal, but then faced an obstacle you can’t control. It can be anything, from global pandemic to an opinion of another person. We often feel crashed. It is hard to control our anger. We find ourselves drawn in negative emotions. We lose all motivation to get up for another fight. The hard truth is that being a victim is choice.

One can divide all people to reactive and proactive. Reactive people don’t take responsibility for things that happen to them. Reactive persons always tries to find what to blame. The life of this group is often filled with negative emotions. Their speech is full of excuses. I wasn’t able to get to the office on time because of a traffic jam. My business failed because market conditions in my country are terrible and taxes are too high. My marriage failed because my wife wasn’t patient enough. I have terrible relations with my son because he is too rebellious.

You are not likely to hear anything like this from proactive people. Proactive people take responsibility for themselves. Life of this group is filled with positive emotions. No matter what happens to them, they know they are in control. They can take actions to fix the situation. I wasn’t able to get to work on time because I decided to use my car instead of metro. My business failed because my business plan didn’t fit in market conditions, next time I will do better. My marriage failed because I wasn’t able to give my wife what she deserved. I have terrible relations with my son because I wasn’t able to find a proper way to talk with him and show how I care about him.

When you position yourselves as a victim, you have nothing but regrets and negative emotions. You can’t change anything. If you make a choice not make yourself a victim, you can act to change the situation. You just need to focus on the things you can control. The most complex issue to resolve is usually relation with other people. The truth is, you can’t change another person and you shouldn’t try to. Yet you can change yourself. It is hard, but possible.

How not to be a victim? The first step is to learn to look at any situation under different angles. If you feel you being bullied by someone, try to understand their motivation. There is always the reason (or several reasons) that make one person to go towards another. Check is you are in control of any reasons you were able to find. The key thing is to keep your mind open. Even if you think you are doing everything right, it is not necessary correct. History teaches us we can always be a villain in someone else story. Try to understand the reasons behind the actions of your “enemy”.
The second step is to create a plan and implement it. Sometimes it seems there is no solution to your problem, but the truth is that there is way out of almost any situation. If you know what the problem is, you can find the way to solve it. It doesn’t automatically mean you will. The good thing is that in any case you will save yourselves from drowning in negative emotions. It is painful to be a victim. It is easier to know you did everything you could and everything that happened is the result of actions you do not regret.

This is all for today. You can learn more about this concept in a book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I highly recommend reading it.

Disclaimer

I’m not a financial of any kind. I encourage you to check all information yourself and make decision only based on your own opinion. All articles are created for solely entertainment purpose.

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