The incredible power of taking an interest in others

Being interested in others holds unimaginable power. If someone interests you, show interest, not just in seeking them out, but in getting to know them. Not just through messages or flat conversations, but by asking questions.

If you are a journalist, entrepreneur, businessman, artist, salesman, politician or simply in love, this article may interest you, so show interest in reading it.

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At some point we have had and will have to establish a relationship with someone who interests us for some reason: economic, love, religious or even health. Whatever the case may be, it is not advisable to arrive, introduce ourselves and express our request or intention right off the bat and without anesthesia. There are cases that yes, there is no other way or it is not so necessary, but most of the time it is better to make human relations an art, as it is, a wonderful art.

Therefore, I invite you to the following:

• Prior to the first contact, know as much as you can about her. The web records much of what that person publishes and shares on their social networks or website, blogs, video channels, etc. through texts, photos, videos and experiences, and that shows an important part of how they are, how they think and feel. There are no excuses for not "finding out about her life", as they say, and getting to know her a little more, because in fact that information will help you later, when you talk on a call, in person or even chat with her.

• Already in your first meeting or contact, try to continue knowing about the person. Ask her what she does, what are her likes, hobbies, goals, dreams, all based on what you have previously researched. Without falling into the invasion or detective type interrogation (I say this from experience, I am very inquisitive and I have made that mistake in the past).

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• In that same first contact or in the others that follow, either in person or maybe in a call, when conversing with her be a good listener, encourage her to talk about herself, and use that thing you found on the internet to make her feel that she is interested in you, so much so, that you searched about him or her. Don't believe me? Ask a celebrity how he feels when an interviewer asks him wrong questions or comments about his life and you can tell that he or his production team did a lousy job of research, and haven't even read a chapter of his book, seen a movie of his filmography or heard a song from his latest album at least.

Dale Carnegie already wrote it in his magnificent book "How to Win Friends and Influence People":}

So if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, you have to be interested. Ask questions that your listener will be happy to answer. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their experiences. Remember that the person you are talking to is a hundred times more interested in himself and his needs and problems than in you and your problems. Your toothache matters more to him than an epidemic that kills a million people in China. A boil on his neck means more of a catastrophe to him than forty earthquakes in Africa. Think about that the next time you start a conversation."

And so it is, we all think we are important and want to feel that way. We want to be interesting, to experience the feeling that our life, character, deeds or words are relevant to others. So, if we say that we care about someone, let's simply show it, let's make that other person feel that we really care and are interested in him or her.

• Once we have managed to capture the attention and interest of that other person in us, we now proceed to express our request. In most cases the result will be positive. Our request will be fulfilled, our proposal accepted, our product purchased, our idea received and approved.

It is important to remember the following: this interest must be as genuine as possible. It is clear that we want to achieve something and that not all situations have the same context, but we will achieve more and feel better when the interest we show for others is genuine and sincere, not just for an underlying objective.

Also remember that you can take this from the macro to the micro. You can use it with owners of a large supermarket chain or with Mr. Luis at the corner kiosk. Just adapt these tips to the case you need.

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If someone interests you, show interest, otherwise we could lose that potential business, job, favor or even the love of our lives.

If someone interests you, show interest not only in seeking them out, but in getting to know them. Make them feel important and interesting. Tell me about it later.

G. S. Bilbao

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