't is to say ...

i keep many strange notions : one of them is that the only and one single certainty one has in life is death, everything else is virtually impossible to be 100% sure of so since life will decide for me one day when its time do so, it feels like me deciding to is a total waste of the opportunity and the astronomically small chance that of all the particles in the universe i condensed into me ...

i dare say the gods have a sense of humour dropping me at that point in spacetime then and here but well ...

no , actually , i feel like flipping or shouting or bloody hell but i dont think i ever felt like giving up ;-) maybe but if thats the case i blocked it or i dont remember

thanks for the words of encouragement nonetheless, im sure plenty of people need some in these trying times