Doing vs. Being — A Lifelong Challenge

I had a lot to do today. I'm leaving at the crack of dawn on Monday to go on a business trip to California, and will be gone for a few days.

For most people, that's not a big deal. For me — as a self-employed person — it is a pretty big deal because it involves taking care of three days of business ahead of time because I won't be here to take care of it while I'm gone. What's more, I will have sketchy Internet while I'm gone so checking in with things is going to be unreliable, at best.

So today, I was running around doing a lot of things, taking care of errands and whatever else needs doing before I can go.

In doing so it made me think about the fact that I have never been really much of a "doer."

While doing comes completely naturally to some people, I have to force myself every time I do something and it often feels like somebody pulling teeth in order for me to get up off my duff and get anything done. In contrast, there are many people who would really struggle to sit still and not do anything and simply be.

I remember this really becoming evident during the period when we had Covid lockdowns. There were some people — such as myself — who were perfectly content to not have to go anywhere, and to be in isolation most of the time while there were other people who were literally going crazy with cabin fever because they had to stay at home.

As I said, I have always been far better at being than at doing. That was even true when I was a little kid, when I would much rather just be at home playing with my toys or reading a book than going out and doing anything. And when I did finally go out and do something, it would usually be taking our dog for a walk in the woods, by myself.

I think it was confusing to the adults around me because I wasn't actually shy, and perfectly capable of interacting with people when they were around, but I'd just as well not do so.

My mother was pretty much what I would describe as a "chronic social butterfly", so she was always pushing me in the direction of being involved in things. I think it concerned her a great deal that I had relatively little interest in being a go-getter.

Of course the world is actually created far more for human doings than it is for human beings. And I have to admit that my pervasive preference for simply being has had a hidden cost that is increasingly bringing itself to bear as I get older.

Given the way the world works, you could argue that I "failed myself" in the sense that I never focused much on building career and striving for wealth and success. I was more interested in finding contentment and having nice friends. Which is not to suggest that I didn't work, I just didn't prioritize it very highly.

I expect at least some of that has to do with having spent most of my adult life in the USA. The value system here is considerably different from my native Denmark where the things I was striving for are more common.

Regardless, I have now reached an age and which it is very doubtful that I will discover "that one thing" that will fully engage me in constant doing.

Perhaps the closest I get to it is writing, although I generally lack the discipline to do things like write a book, for example. However, I have kept up this blog for over 9 years now, and that is at least some measure of discipline, right?

Anyway, I'm going to be spending a lot of time on the train for the next few days so maybe I will find more time to simply reflect and write some interesting thoughts!

Thanks for stopping by, and have a great week ahead!

How about YOU? Do you consider yourself more of a "doer" or a "be-er"? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

(All text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is ORIGINAL CONTENT, created expressly for this platform — Not posted elsewhere!)

Created at 2026.03.08 20:50 PST
x1054/2288