I'm Just Not Interested...

When I look at life, and all the choices we face everyday, I can't help but ponder all the times we reach for "easy platitudes," rather than perhaps sharing an authentic truth about a situation.

While I recognize the importance of so-called "small talk" as a form of social glue in many situations, the downside of small talk is that it inevitably lives only in the shallows of life. It has no "meat on its bones," so to speak.

In many cases, we feel compelled to connect with groups of people — perhaps in search of a sense of belonging — so we accept the group narrative, even when it doesn't fit us well.

We might even fear that speaking up and saying something like "sorry, I'm just not interested" will get us labeled as arrogant and rude.

It's something I first became really aware of back in the 1990s, when I was working in the IT industry, and I saw just how much time was wasted on "water cooler talk" every day.

I realized that I couldn't care less about the lives of movie stars and celebrities, and I couldn't care less about who was cheating in their relationship.

It all felt rather meaningless.

But I played along, because a large part of "the game" consisted of making sure that you showed up for happy hour on Friday afternoons so people wouldn't end up thinking that you were "some kind of weirdo."

Then, one day, I just decided to quit, recognizing that I probably had more in common with fellow "weirdos" who never showed up with the Happy Hour Crowd than I ever could with all the eternal followers of "accepted etiquette."

I don't remember who it was that shoved me over the proverbial edge, but I do remember the observation that "it's better to be 100% perfect to 1% of the population, than to be 1% perfect to 100% of the population."

Even those who are not "people pleasers" by nature often spend a lot of time "following convention" in service of being seen in a positive light.

Some of it is basic psychology: There is safety in being part of the herd, as opposed to being an "outlier" that nobody really understands. Or cares about.

I suppose one of the most notable things that happened when I stopped pretending and instead being honest about "not being interested" was that my circle of friends both shrank radically, as well as changed.

As I have never really had much fear of being alone, I was not too troubled. I remain not too troubled, all these years later. Not troubled by the fact that I can count my actual friends on one hand.

But we truly matter, to each other! And that means a lot...

Thanks for stopping by, and have a great remainder of your week!

How about YOU? Do you ever "go along" in service of belonging with a group? Or do you always stay true to yourself... even if it means being alone? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

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Created at 2026.01.26 23:30 PST
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