How Wedding Bells ring in Pakistan?
I want a simple wedding ceremony, only with immediate family around.
What would your chachu (paternal uncle), khalas (maternal aunts) and our dear friends say? We have been to all their weddings. It won't look nice if we don't invite any of them.
But it's my wedding and I haven't been to any of their weddings. They don't need to come to mine.
We are hosting it, so we have a say in who we invite.
I can host it myself.
Okay, but I don't want you to spend unnecessary money on arrangements and I certainly don't want to be part of silly traditional rituals.
Ok, we will see, when the time will come.
I've been hearing a somewhat similar exchange of dialogue between my parents and brother for a long time. He's not much of a people-pleasing person. I guess, not even a tiny bit. He lives by his own rules, although very caring towards his family and friends but he knows when to prioritize himself.
He wanted a simple wedding and my parents wanted to splurge a little in the wedding of their first son. Just to clear, my family is not even remotely related to Ambani's. We don't run multi-millionaire businesses but we can afford a little splurging sometimes. Besides, sub-continental parents prioritize saving up for the weddings of their kids over anything.
I'm not against splurging or even hoarding. I live by - "your money, your call" and "do whatever makes you happy" rules.
Coming back to my brother, his bride wanted a "memorable" event as well. So, I leave it to you to guess who won at the end. (:
In general, weddings in Pakistan are an extravagant affair - an excellent opportunity to boast wealth and to seek validation from society. The middle class tries their best to host a spectacular event and even the lower class tries to send their daughters off with a notable dowry - even if they have to spend their life's savings or take loans.
In a nutshell - we take weddings quite seriously.
Our religion (Islam) tells us otherwise (simplicity and modesty in everything) but we follow culture and traditions more in the sub-continent - because we have lived too long with Hindus and later on thanks to colonization we are a blend of everything as a nation.
During my time off (from Steem), I mostly traveled which you might have realized by now (I've been mostly posting my travel stories since I got back). Another highlight of the past year was the wedding of my brother.
Ever since he got engaged, the only topic in the house was "discussing wedding plans" in which he was least interested. He wanted a simple wedding but with time - everyone came to terms and opted for a middle ground.
I've contemplated too long whether to write about the wedding or not as I wasn't comfortable sharing the details here (you know how thorough I am with my posts as o1eh says). But then I didn't want you to miss out on a traditionally rich event. Therefore, I've finally decided to share snippets from the wedding while showing you a good glimpse of our traditions. 😀
Once the date was finalized, we did the usual necessary stuff as soon as we could:
- Booked a wedding hall
- Prepared a guest list
- Decided on the menu
There were some other bookings which I will disclose as I share the details of the events.
Among all these bookings and preparations, the most important task for me and my mom was to decide what to wear. (Women being women :))
I don't remember worrying about clothes at my wedding. But I wanted to look nice on my brother's. 😀
There were months of online research, but when I went to the market, I bought my dresses in under 2 hours. That day, I felt half of the wedding preps were done. 😂
In case, you are wondering why am I writing event's' and dress'es' - let me tell you, Pakistani weddings last for 3-4 days on average. Some celebrities are extending it to even 10 days.
We had 3 main events that were covered in 3 days. I will cover each one by one sharing the significance of all.
Wait...
I'm not a fan of writing very lengthy posts. Consider this post as a preface, while you absorb this information, let me write about the events in the next part...
If I ever got married (which I don't plan to), I would have a similar attitude to your brother: a signature on a certificate and that's it. I hope the two brides and grooms are only so different in this respect ;-))
If I could go back in time, I'd save every possible penny for traveling.
When my parents got married, the wedding also lasted several days. Fortunately, over time it changed a little and my wedding fit into one day and one night. I never understood the term "first wedding night." When should it be? My wedding ended when it was already light outside.
We are waiting 😉
Aha! I thought this happens only in our part of the world.
Poor boy. It should have been the next night in your case. Right @mariam.dariam? 😄
On it. Won't let you wait for another 10 days.😛
Exactly. 😀
That's cruel
You should definitely write about the next parts. Don't leave us hanging in here.
I will be quick. It's a pressure to make it interesting for someone like you who already knows the traditions. 😄
Not at all!
You do know how much I enjoy such "details." Remember the "Ambani wedding reel-watching saga 😉😜
TEAM 1
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This sounds very interesting , some how it looks like a Nigerian wedding 😄.
I like your brother kind of person. I love everything very simple. But some traditions here is always waiting for who is ready to dance to its tune, I guess.
After all the whole preparation..., wedding is just one day but marriage is a life time commitment and spending.
I am keen to read the next one!
I am not really a fan of spending huge in a wedding, I might dodge it.... but I know if my girlfriend should come here to see this comment by mistake, I would be in hot soup 🤣. She wants that day to be a memorable one.