Third Culture

Sometimes, I wish there was a pause button to life. A rewind and forward button too, perhaps. Alas, life is not a movie - it's very much alive, live and real.

Lately, it feels like I don't have time to take a breath. It's not that I'm occupied all the time; even when I'm unwinding, I have something on my mind that I need to do later on, and the very thought doesn't allow me to relax as I should. I guess that's how adulting is.

Last week, I went on a short trip to Lahore which explains my reduced activity here. I was looking forward to that trip in hopes of unwinding - fully, which I'm glad worked. The change of scenery, routine and company had a very positive effect on me. This post is not about the nitty-gritty of my trip but about an impromptu breakfast plan on one fine morning.

It was a group trip; all the activities were planned together except breakfasts. One day, when I was still in bed, enjoying the late morning hours, husband told me to quickly get ready for breakfast at a coffee shop less than a mile away from our place of stay. I love coffee shops, so without any counter-argument, I and the kids followed him down the lane, which was bustling due to the rush hour.

As we walked on the pavement, which was lined between grassy ground shadowed with lush trees and plants on one side and commute vehicles on the other side, I felt something - happiness or satisfaction, perhaps. Although I was in a big city, that simple act of walking to the café gave me a town feel. I love small towns, slow life and cute cafés.

Lost in my bubble of thoughts, we reached the market. There were three cafes, out of which two hadn't opened yet, it was 10:30 am, don't you wanna run your business?

A small café at the corner was opened, which immediately caught my full attention. It had a certain character to it with the display saying Third Culture, what a weird name. I wouldn't have taken the picture of the front if my husband hadn't asked me to capture the hanging pots (so that he could make something like this for home). The entrance was inviting and had a homely feel to it.

It was a small place yet there was so much to look at. After placing the order, which included a little bit of almost everything - bagels, fajita puffs, banana bread, doughnuts and cappuccino, I quickly scanned the books that lined the length of two walls.

Then there was a hard-to-ignore wall in the patio which had some contemporary wall art. I forgot to take its picture but you might see it in some pictures as a distant backdrop.

There was a no-selfie mirror which had posters and scribblings of all sorts, and so was the brick wall behind. It brought me back to my teenage years when I cared about celebrities and trends too much. Although these things don't attract me now, yeah, there was once a time.

Speaking of cute cafés and small towns, standing in front of this counter, immediately took me to the world of Gilmore Girls. I was hoping to see Luke appear from behind in his infamous baseball cap and flannels. At that moment, I realized why I love the show so much despite the annoying protagonist - Lorelai - and the slow life of the town of Stars Hollow. It was meaningful and above and beyond the flashy life of "the rich" and certain societal pressures.

Board games, colouring books and stencils kept the kids busy. The recycle bin amused me but the idea of a dollar bill at the foot pedal didn't sit well with me. I think it's insulting to Franklin. Rajesh and Joey would feel proud to see their pictures in a public place though. 😉

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Kids fought a bit over chess, while I decided to colour a Harry Potter-themed book, which was mostly filled.

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Taking it all in, I finally pondered over the name of the café. I hadn't heard the term before but it was obvious that it was referring to a foreign culture. I ran it through Google and found out...

^{Third culture kids (TCK) or third culture individuals (TCI) are people who were raised in a culture other than their parents or the culture of their country of nationality and also live in a different environment during a significant part of their child development years. source}

My next thought was - what is second culture? Further reading from the same source, I found out that the first culture is the culture of the country where parents belong or originate; the second culture is the culture of the host country where one lives, which may or may not be the same as the first culture. The third culture has no connection to the first or second culture.

I asked ChatGPT the same question, and according to it, the third culture is a unique blend of first and second cultures. Also, the second culture is external, whereas the third culture is something internal and personal, formed through merging different influences.

To you, the café may not seem interesting or unique but in Pakistan, it is truly a representation of mixed cultures (all foreign) but at the same time represents the life of a Pakistani teenager belonging to a privileged family. I have been to countless cafés, mostly they are modern or even similar to this one. I guess this time, the name attracted me the most and hence a full blog in its honour.