Thank you for your honest words. I can understand how exhausting it can be to live with pain, limited mobility, and changes in your body, especially when it makes you withdraw from other people. A good friend of mine has a very similar situation. She is severely limited in her movement and needs a wheelchair when she goes outside. What helps her a lot is her small family, who give her strength and support.
I truly hope you continue to receive the help you need and that, step by step, things become a little easier. If you would like, we can also stay in touch. Sometimes it already helps just to have someone to talk to.