Share the etiquette of communication between people in China
| We also call unfamiliar strangers differently. |
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Example 1:If the person looks older than me, if it's a man, I call him brother or uncle, if it's a woman, I call him sister or aunt.If it is an older man, we call him grandpa, if it is an older woman, we call her grandma. For those who are younger than us or the same age as us, we prefer to call them by their real names.
For foreign friends, the first time we call each other is based on gender. Boys are called Mr. and girls are called Ms. If you can’t meet the real person, you may only be able to judge by the avatar. Just like when I first met @stef1 on steemit, I thought her avatar was that of a man, so I addressed her as sir. Later, when I found out the true situation, I apologized to her.. Sorry, this is just a small episode.
Analysis:
For people of different age groups, we will have some honorifics that match their age groups. We will not call them by their names directly. This would be very impolite and also arouse their disgust. This is called respect in our etiquette. Those who are older than us are collectively called elders. There is a Chinese saying called "respect the old and love the young." This "zun" means respect, and the honorific title given to them represents respect.
The elders can call us by our names directly, which seems to us to be a matter of course.
For boys or girls of the same age, we communicate with each other by directly calling each other's names.
| When we make introductions, we always use complimentary words to describe others |
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Example 1: I have a very beautiful friend with a very good figure. I have time to introduce you to her.
Example 2: I have a friend who is very good at painting. I would like to introduce you to him when I have time.
Example 3: I have a very good friend who played in college. He is very friendly and has time to introduce you to each other.
Analysis ①:
These introductions will all focus on certain characteristics of this person.
In fact, in the eyes of Chinese people, this is a compliment to my friend, and it also expresses that the friend has some attractive characteristics. When Chinese people introduce friends to each other, no one will directly introduce their academic qualifications and what kind of work they do. In the eyes of Chinese people, these details can only be answered after basic familiarity with them. This requires separate communication between old and new friends. If you introduce these specific details directly, Information will make the introducer feel uncomfortable and make the introducer feel like he is inquiring. It will also make the person being introduced feel: I don’t want to know that much, why should you introduce it to me?
Analysis ②:
This friend may not be here when we say these words, but we say we have time to introduce you to him.
This time can be divided into two situations:
- Refers to the situation when the three of us are present,Introduce you to each other
- When the person being introduced needs help from the introducer, we will introduce him by phone or message.
| When we express gratitude, we don’t say thank you to those close to us |
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Example 1: My sister has to deal with her own affairs and cannot take care of her child. She asked me to spend a day with the child, including eating, drinking water and playing with toys with him. When I finished taking care of her, my sister will only ask me whether my child is obedient, whether he has eaten, etc. My sister will not say, "Thank you, brother, for helping me take care of my child."
Analysis:
In Chinese etiquette, if you say thank you to someone close to you, it will make the other person feel alienated and not treat the other person as one of your own, which will make the other person feel uncomfortable. In the eyes of the Chinese, we are family, because I know We will help each other, blood is thicker than water more than anything else.
For people other than family members, such as friends and store staff, we still want to say thank you if they help you, because our relationship is not as close as family members. Saying thank you expresses our gratitude for the other person's help.
The above cases briefly introduce the daily etiquette of Chinese people. I wonder if you who are reading this article have different ideas, or what some etiquette in your country is like. We can communicate in the comment area.
If I have the opportunity, I will continue to share about Chinese etiquette. I think it will be interesting.
If you enjoyed this article please Upvote, Resteem, and Follow me @pinkcastle
Hi @pinkcastle :) Lovely to connect and thanks to @stef1 for the resteem which was how I stumbled upon this post.
It is always fascinating to learn about how different cultures function. Here in South Africa, it is common with certain cultures too, to refer to someone older as "Aunt or Uncle" regardless of whether they are relatives or not - it is simply a sign of respect... however, I did not grow up with that in my household... We were taught to greet with "Mr. and Mrs."
Many years ago when my little boy (who was about 3 at the time) was introduced to my boyfriends mom, he called her by her first name and I will never forget the look of HORROR on her face at this rude mannered little boy who had not greeted her with a title. hehehe!!! She actually never told me about it until a few months later and my little boy was petrified of her from that point forward because of the way she reacted that day.
Once I found out WHY... I had to explain to him how he should greet - even though he did it with no ill intention.
So, now she is Aunty Rose, and all is well with the world lol
I actually REALLY love this approach to things! Blood is thicker than water and it should be a norm for family to help one another... but you are right, this is not always the case in Western culture.
This was a great read, thank you for sharing!
thank you for reading, cultural differences always exist. We respect the culture of our own country and understand the culture of other countries. This is a good way of communication.
Respect is pretty much key to the success of ANY interactions between humans :)
and it was my pleasure to read @pinkcastle!
Hi @pinkcastle, this is indeed interesting and very different from what I got used to and experience in the places I live.
By the way, that immediately reminded me how for example, you can gift a clock to a friend and this is a good present but you can not do such present to Japanese because this way they think you pointed that they are always late and have to work on their accuracy.
In regards when you speak to different aged people how to reflects that is the same like it is done in Kazakhstan and maybe in many Asian countries and considered to be normal.
That is very good idea that you put this into your post and will be interesting to learn more about such differences, I hope you can learn more from people from different countries on Steemit and it will be interesting how you reflect them too.
Yes, different countries have different cultures or manners. If we accidentally misunderstand others in cultural differences, we need to communicate in time.
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This is extremely interesting and please: write more about it!
I myself am somehow not a benchmark for any culture; I have lived in many places in the world and never really felt like I belonged anywhere. But I have developed my own culture and am not willing, for example, to respect someone just because he or she is older than me. One has to earn respect! Conversely, of course, I don't expect respectful restraint from younger people either...
In the 2000s, it was fashionable in German retail outlets to address customers as "you". It seemed relaxed and casual. Confidential. Normal for me - I've always done it that way. The first time a shop assistant said "Thou" to me, I was sure: I'm getting old ;-)) But presumably this fashion was simply over by then and people were behaving more formally...
People all have commonness and individuality. Maybe for some rules and regulations that restrict our behavior, what we have to do is to keep pace with the times and take the essence and discard the dross. Not in every era, and not necessarily for everyone.