Stuckism Barter

Stuckists can unashamedly consider barter when pricing paintings for exhibition. The following is one of my examples from a posh show in Rochester several years back:

Barter List for Perspective Fusions at RIT (Rochester Institute of Technology)

I will trade for a painting or commission. Here is how I value goods over money. Listed are a few needs I have off and on again, and would be happy to make an arrangement. For instance, if you inquire about a commission(s) by Christmas, I am always in need of some bulk harvest items in late fall, or Christmas cookies hygienically prepared by a careful hand. Make offers. Think about what a poor painter needs. Money can only play the part of an impatient middleman. It just brings worry in the abstract. I could buy the vegetables or the cookies, but then I would have to take time out from painting and/or being a family man to do the shopping. And time is what so many of us lack these days. The money value marked after the barter good is what I believe it would fetch on the market in a paper currency economy. Match that to the price list of my paintings. For instance if you want the music box (good anniversary gift), but don’t have $600 handy, and you’re a registered plumber by trade, replace my main shut-off and surprise your spouse with the joy of turntable music this year. I am open for offers. Try me.

Rough ideas:

Produce

50 lb. sack of potatoes, onions or squash… $25
10 lb. bag of pecans… $40
10 lb. bag unbleached white flour… $8
1 case of 28 oz. whole peeled tomatoes… $15
1 case Bordeaux red wine… $180
1 jar of pickles (or pickled equivalent)… $5
1 gallon maple syrup… $50
1 gallon honey... $30
Spices, herbs, dried peppers, mushrooms, etc… Negotiable

Electronics

1 year of Internet… $480
1 year of Netflix or equivalent… $180
Lenses for a SONY Alpha 57 digital camera… $300-1500
New Apple 27” iMac… $2000
Electrical improvements to house … ?

Painting supplies

1 8 oz. jar Golden Acrylics (heavy body) color…$35
Canvases and gessoed hardboard (preferably the latter)… Negotiable
Paintbrushes (all sizes and shapes except the frilly kind that makes grass)… Same
Frames, frames, frames… Again, negotiable
Promotional or word-of-mouth advertising:
• 3 “Ron Throop—Good painter” spiel daily for one month to different people each time… $50 (one month only)
• Sandwich board sign wearer on corner of Goodman and University for two consecutive Saturday mornings... $100
• Advocates (credentialed artists) to perform “Ron Throop—Great painter” spiel once a month for a year at dinner parties where combined income of guests exceeds 6 million dollars annually… $65

Plumbing

Replace main shut off … $400 (must be insured)
Build a better bathroom off an existing one that is literally a water closet… Entire collection

Gardening

1 ton manure or compost delivered and tilled… $250
Rototiller (rear tines)… Negotiable

Heating

Trade or purchase and install a high-efficiency fireplace insert… Negotiable
Purchase and install a new attractive enameled wood stove in library (actually the room between kitchen and living room. There is a bookshelf with books, so I call it a library)… Entire collection
3 face cords of well-seasoned hardwoods, delivered and stacked… $350

Travel

1 week in your timeshare south of Virginia… Entire collection if there are two bathrooms
Round-trip (preferably non-stop) airfare for three to a place with palm trees (good for 2014-2015 winter)… Negotiable
1 week trade of abodes plus maid service on your end if you have a residence outside of this state or country, preferably in a low crime area, and can have reputable references vouch that you’re not a dangerous criminal… $100

Music

Acoustic guitar with magically smooth action… $200
A horn or wind instrument… Negotiable
A violin… Negotiable

A day job

Something part time... $200

I am a cook by trade, and am very well versed in the professional and home kitchen. I can bake too, and be a home cook if you have a nice house without negative drama. Are you a doctor with little time on your hands to prepare and cook scratch comfort food for the family? For 25 hours a week I can shop and cook 5 dinners with leftovers. Menu planning would be a joy. I am the only saucier in Oswego worth the investment. I don’t smoke, spit, or tell tasteless jokes. I clean up after myself (dinner pots, pans and utensils—not dishes and silverware). I’ll wash my hands a lot and wear gloves when preparing uncooked foods. Fit me into your budget. I give back tenfold compared to that Mercedes metal box of rusting alloy on wheels depreciating in the driveway.

There. Let’s make a deal.

Alms 2024. Acrylic on cardboard, 16 x 16"