RE: "Stolen Experiences:" The Trap of Doing Things Other People's Way!
This is interesting... and once again personal! One thing I am trying to tell my kids (I have kids of both genders) is the thing that "if you really love me, then you would..." is something to avoid at all cost. If someone tells you something like that, then it is really bad, and if they would tell it to anyone, then it is even worse!
If you really love someone, you would never ask that question...
I am kind of an emotional zero, meaning that I really don't care much about what people think of me, and I have never really cared either. As a result, I have just gone my own way, and probably hurted some people along the way as I didn't really care much about those around me.
Now I am trying to get better and not be a terrorist of my own will at all times.
I guess there is something good and bad at all ends...
"The only time we are in the middle of the road is while crossing the road from one ditch to another..."
The worst thing about "if you really loved me" is that it ultimately represents "conditional" love, not real love. What that statement is saying is that you care only as long as someone is pleasing to us, and once they stop being pleasing we no longer care for them. In a sense, it reduces love and caring to little more than a transaction, which is very sad.
Raising kids is... well, it doesn't come with an instruction manual! We've raised three (of both genders) and they have now all passed 30 and they are still alive!