I am back in India

I am back at home and the day I arrived home, on Tuesday, I felt a surge of relief as I stepped inside, as if the walls were saying, "Now you're back, everything will be alright."

But a long list of tasks began, the very moment I came back home. Electricity bills, house repairs/maintenance, meeting old friends, neighbors and bank work, they were treating me as if I am not an Indian so my cards were not working properly. It felt like everything had fallen on me all at once. It's been a constant rush for the last four days, and that was nothing short of slight irritation at how these small tasks consume all my time and energy.

ᶜᵃⁿᵇᵉʳʳᵃ ᴬᶦʳᵖᵒʳᵗ

I am back at home and the day I arrived home, on Tuesday, as I stepped inside, as if the walls were saying, "Now you're back, everything will be alright."

Yep, that's right. It felt like everything had fallen on me all at once. It's been a constant rush for the last four days, and that was nothing short of slight irritation at how these small tasks consume all my time and energy.

ᶜᵃⁿᵇᵉʳʳᵃ ᴬᶦʳᵖᵒʳᵗ

When I was in Australia, life was organized. Everything had its place, its time. Cycling in the park in the morning, followed by a short coffee and writing on my laptop—all of this was part of my daily routine. But back here, time seems to run at a different pace.

As soon as I wake up in the morning I feel something remains unfinished. Sometimes I have to talk to the people around me, sometimes I have to call a relatives, sometimes I have to meet a neighbor. The day passes, and by evening I realize I haven't been able to spare a moment for myself. And when I see the handymen are not keeping their promises like my internet connection which took longer than my expectation, my water purifier and even my inverter connection, they all need attention.

Still, home has its own magic. The familiarity in the air here is unmatched anywhere else in the world. Last night, sitting in the park in front of me, I remembered the cold and quiet nights of Australia, but the stars here are alive. It's as if those same stars have been accompanying me since childhood. When I look at the walls of the house, memories peek out from every corner: the paint on the wall, the mango trees blooming in the garden, and the old chair on the veranda that Dad often used with his evening tea.

These days have taught me that life isn't just a journey, it's also a staycation. Whether it's the glamor of a foreign land or the simplicity of home, balancing the two is the true art. When I'm in Australia, I miss home, and when I'm here, I'm drawn to the orderly life there. Perhaps this same conflict runs through every foreigner's heart.

ᴹᵉˡᵇᵒᵘʳⁿᵉ ᴬᶦʳᵖᵒʳᵗ

Sometimes I wonder about all these household chores, electricity, water, repairs, shopping. Why do these things feel so exhausting? Perhaps it's because we're emotionally attached to them. Every task holds a memory. While I was cleaning out an old rack, I found some old photos from my first trip to the Himalayas, and one from my childhood garden, posing with my siblings.

Those photos took me back many years; they showed a me who was completely different from the "busy me" I am now. Now I feel that this busyness isn't useless. This home, this environment, these responsibilities, all together form my identity. Perhaps it's this home that gives me life every time, even if I leave it again and again and go somewhere else. And perhaps, returning feels so good because it reminds my wife and me, my wife more than me, that our roots are still here, in this very soil, in this very people, and in the little things we struggle with every day.

Four days of busyness have certainly exhausted me, but within this fatigue lies a sense of relief. This relief tells me that I'm back where it all began. Here at home. Returning home doesn't signal the end of a journey, but rather a new beginning. Four days have passed, and I'm trying to find myself day by day in a changing world, where old memories and new responsibilities coexist.

At home, things aren't the same anymore, as there are no offline projects. But a constant question lingers in my mind, "Am I still the same person I was?"