4Th of July Jokes

Justin: Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor?
Gerald: Why?
Justin: Because she can’t sit down.

Submitted by Justin A., Oquawka, Ill.

Tom Swiftie: “Don’t light those fireworks!” Tom exploded.

Submitted by Jeffrey D., Lansing, Mich.

Johnny: Does Europe have a 4th of July?
Josh: No.
Johnny: Yes, it does. It comes right after the 3rd of July.

Submitted by Jude P. D., Rayne, La.

A book never written: “The Star- Spangled Banner” by Jose Kanusee.

Submitted by Jason F., Hillsborough, N.J.

Joe: My brother swallowed a box of firecrackers.
Moe: Is he all right now?
Joe: I don’t know. I haven’t heard the last report.

Submitted by Joshua G., Corvallis, Mont.

Teacher: What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?
Johnny: “Get in the boat, men!”

Submitted by Jon M., Central Point, Ore.

A book never written: “American Victories” by Norman D. Beech.

Submitted by Ben H., Ontario, N.Y.

Harry: What do you call an American drawing?
John: What?
Harry: Yankee doodle!

Submitted by Aubrey T., Jackson, Miss.

Alvin: My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French and my father fought with the Americans.
Alex: Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they?

Submitted by Alex I., Exeter, R.I.

A book never written: “Coming to America” by Anita Greencard.

Submitted by Sam B., Hingham, Mass.

Teacher: More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.
Caleb: Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!

Submitted by Caleb B., Borfield, Ill.

Pedro: What was the patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War?
Ordep: I don’t know. What?
Pedro: Chicken Catch-a-Tory!

Submitted by Greg B., Corning, N.Y.

Teacher: Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
Tommy: Yes, ma’am. At the bottom.

Submitted by Luke M., Morganton, N.C.

Robert: What’s red, white and blue?
Bradley: Our flag, of course.
Robert: And a sad candy cane!

Submitted by Robert D., Rowlett, Tex.

A book never written: “The Parts of the National Anthem” by Homer D. Brave.

Submitted by Micheal R., Brewton, Ala.

Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of “The Star-Spangled Banner”?
Johnny: “Play ball”?

Submitted by Nate C., Ipswich, Mass.

Robert: What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?
John: I don’t know.
Robert: Tea-shirts.

Submitted by John D., Richmond, Va.