Don’t Read This

It’s not worth your time.

Why are you reading this? I explicitly said to not waste your time reading this in the title. I don’t know how much clearer I could have been. Please do not read further.

You’re still reading?! What is wrong with you? Do you have some compulsion to simply do what others tell you not to do. “Fuck you! No one tells me what I should or should not read. I’ll show this asshole who’s boss by reading this shit.”

Yes, what you’re STILL reading is shit. It’s pointless and stupid. Yet, here you are looking at this word. Well, STOP!!

But, no, you won’t. Is it because I’m telling you to not read this that you are reading this? Wow, you are really easily manipulated. If I tell you to not gift me a couple hundred dollars, will you not do that just like you’re not reading this?

How much time of your life have you wasted now by reading something no one, not even the author, wanted you to read? There was seriously nothing more important you could have done with your brain during this time? Hell, just focusing on your breathing for all this time would have been more meaningful than the reading you’ve been doing.

OMG!! What the fuck? Are you ever going to stop? Are you doing this out of spite now? See who quits first? Will I stop writing first or will you stop reading first. Why does it matter? Is everything a competition to you? You do realize that I stopped writing this long before you started reading it, right? I’ve probably even forgotten I ever wrote this by now.

Look, I don’t know what possessed you to keep reading despite all my pleads for you to stop but at least your near the end. I warned you that this was going to be a waste of your time. I told you not to read this. Yet, here you are a few sentences from the end.

I’ll give you credit though, at least you finish what you start. You’ve certainly got perseverance. Look, if you’re not going to stop then I’m going to to have to stop for you. You can say you won if you want but you weren’t competing with anyone. I hope next time you listen when someone warns you against doing something. I’m stopping now. Go do something better with your life.

This is the last sentence.