Cold nipples: There's a solution for that

in #humor5 years ago

I've just spent a couple weeks in New Zealand which was really nice. If you haven't been there you really ought to because it's legit! Very legit. Anyway, whilst there are similarities between my own country, Australia, and the land that's down under, down under, that is New Zealand, the two countries are really quite different. Not just in look and feel of course, but the people are different. New Zealander's are...Well they're New Zealander's ya know?

Anyway, it's difficult to explain it really. I mean you'd have to be an Aussie to understand it, or be a New Zealander I suppose. I was thinking of how I could give you an example and then it struck me...I recalled a picture I took of a product I saw in a gift shop in Moeraki last week and figured it would demonstrate a New Zelander's differentness perfectly.

So, hands up those of you who have ever had cold nipples and longed for a set of nipple warmers made out of possum fur. Come on...Don't make me tag those of you I know have been in this situation...I will you know...OK, put your hands down, I can't see you anyway.

So, here's the solution to cold nipples...At least as far as the New Zealander's are concerned. Nipple warmers!

Yes, this is a legit product I picked up off the shelf with a price tag on the bag, instructions on use and everything. Legit. Come on, you know you want some.

Here's a picture of the back of the packet. Seriously, get a load of the benefits listed to the right of the packaging.

  • Warm your hard to heat bits
  • Extra cushioning and comfort
  • Enhance sex appeal (WTF?)
  • Extra volume
  • No chaffing
  • No shrinkage
  • One size fits all

Seems like they have all bases covered right? I'm not sure about some of those benefits however the manufacturer seems committed. The product offers all that for the low price of $14.90 NZD so no excuses people, they're affordable! There's even a willie warmer available so you can get a "matching set" for couples...So the packaging tells us. Hmm...It gets cold in New Zealand...Obviously cold enough for nipple-warming devices and they have that shit worked out!

So, unless you're a freak, you have nipples and if they get cold this product is for you. It's bound to keep your nipples toasty-warm and enhance sex appeal...Or so they say. if you get some can you please do a post outlining the degree of enhanced sex appeal you achieved? For scientific reasons of course.

So, anyway there you have it - An example of New Zealander's differentness.

Note: Possums are actually a terrible problem in New Zealand as they destroy naturally-occurring fauna - They are a pest. There's possum-fur products all over the place there from hats, gloves, shawls, jumpers and of course the most legit of them all: Nipple and willie warmers. Possum Pam, the manufacturer, has been making these things and helping with the possum-pest problem since 1983 and of course this product is a joke product designed for some fun and a few laughs. I'll bet there's been more than a few sexy-time sessions with someone sporting a set of these and nothing else though! There's a serious nature to it also though considering that about 75% of New Zealands Fauna is found only in New Zealand. It needs to be protected...As do your nipples.

So...There you have it...Go and do a nipple-temperature check right now and if they are cold get onto some of these nipple warmers. Your nipples will thank you.


Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default

Discord: @galenkp#9209 🇦🇺
@curangel curator

Sort:  

How do they attach? Do you need pierced nipples? Do they have suction cups?
I came here to have questions answered, and I'm leaving with even more questions.

There's straps apparently. Very thin ones. Not sure how well they'd work but for the sake of all those cold nipples out there I hope they work well.

Wow....😎

Posted using Partiko Android

I wish there was a haha 😂 button. This was so funny when I saw it. Not that I'd need it in Mauritius but I'm sure somewhere in the world there's need for nipple warmers.. 😂

Posted using Partiko Android

Yes, cold nips all over the world I reckon.

Posted using Partiko Android

Finally!!!

Posted using Partiko iOS

Classic Kiwi product right there I say🤣. So did you by a set come on you can tell us.

Posted using Partiko Android

Got them on right now. Toasty warm nips.

Posted using Partiko Android

Hahaha 👍

Posted using Partiko Android

Classic Kiwi product right there I say🤣. So did you by a set come on you can tell us?

Posted using Partiko Android

Nice you care animals lots of wishes,

I like animals. I eat some too, you know...Cows, chicken, fish etc.

Posted using Partiko Android

To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.

Brought to you by @tts. If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.

I would definitely encourage people to try those. I will stick with regular clothes, I think. Those are too funny!

I'm pretty sure you had your hand up...But I won't push the issue. 🤣

Posted using Partiko Android

Dang it, you got me!

Posted using Partiko Android

I knew it.

Save the wildlife!

Posted using Partiko iOS

And the nipples.

Posted using Partiko Android