Groundhog For President

The Groundhog came out, saw the Iowa Caucus, and is predicting ten more months of misery.

"Drive us off a cliff before Super Tuesday."

Actually, the little rodent in Pennsylvania is predicting an early spring this year. I appreciate the thought, and certainly I'll vote for him, but I beg to differ. Here in Indiana, with the exception of one polar vortex that vortexed its way across most of the country, our winter has been pretty mild.

You don't get that here without paying for it.

So my official prediction is cold and snow starting toward the end of February, and lasting through March into April. During March Madness basketball season, some of the snow might be replaced by ice. Otherwise, I stand by my apocalyptic vision.

I'm just the messenger.

I've only shoveled once this year--I don't get that lucky.

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Remember: Calling in sick and reading for three months straight it totally worth it, right up until the moment your utilities get shut off.