The aftermath of breaking my shoulder (it could be your story too)

Breaking bones is never fun if you aren't a kid and everyone signs your cast and you are a bit of a hero for a few weeks. I think a lot of the reason why breaking a bone as a kid isn't such a big deal is because everyone accommodates you, you don't really have any real responsibilities, and you also heal a lot better than an adult is going to.

I'm not a kid and none of the childlike attributes apply to me. I have a relatively high level of responsibility, nobody is catering to me, and i'm starting to feel as though I simply can't heal properly.

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When I say that I broke my shoulder, it wasn't a complete break, I can't even imagine what they do if that happens to you. But I did end up with 3 fractures kind of similar to the picture above. My X-Ray doesn't really mean a great deal to anyone who isn't a doctor, but here it is anyway.

I never really thought about it until I broke it, but there is a lot going on in one's shoulder, it's more than just one bone.

When I first broke it my shoulder was tight but I don't know if it was the adrenaline but I just kept on carrying on with my night as if nothing had happened. I was picking stuff up including my own body and made my own way to the hospital. I didn't really even feel any pain at the time. It wasn't until the next day that I realized that this was real, and I was in a great deal of pain.

This continued for about 4 weeks and the mobility issues were really bad as well. The doctors informed me that it could be many months before I am back to 100% and while that was something I took seriously, I really take it seriously at this point because I am now 10 weeks from the date that I initially broke the shoulder, and I am still feeling some real lasting effects that I hope every day are going to fade away.

Thankfully, I can do most of the things that I need to do in my life but there are a few things that I am probably going to need to go to physical therapy soon in order to rectify. The main thing being that I cannot, with a great deal of discomfort anyway, lift my one arm fully above my head.

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I have never been super-fitness-guy in my life but for whatever reason, I had some definition in my shoulders that I was actually quite proud of. In the 6 weeks or so where my shoulder was isolated, the shoulder muscles in my left arm completely atrophied meaning that I can't even see them in the mirror anymore. I'm not lazy though and I have been going upstairs to the gym in my building and trying to do some shoulder exercises only to realize that I do not have the ability to fully extend my arm above my head, let alone with a weight in it.

This is very frustrating but I try to keep in mind that a month ago I couldn't even reach a glass or plate on a shelf with that arm and hopefully this is just normal and will return with time. I know it isn't a good idea to press the issue because that could just be aggravating the injury.

This is all fine and expected and the doctors have told me that I should still wait and not be "messing with it" for at least another month. I just don't like having 2 different shaped shoulders but I guess I am going to have to deal with that.

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One thing that is more annoying about this situation of mine is something that we all have to do. Sleep. I cannot sleep on the left side of my body without it causing pain...still. I don't know about you, but I have a favorite position when sleeping and my favorite just happens to be on my left side.

Like a lot of people, my body sometimes makes choices for me while I am asleep that I am not actively aware of and since sleeping on my left side has been my "favorite" for all of my life I sometimes wake up on that side and now it really hurts. This can continue into the rest of my day as well. I never start out in that position, but sometimes my body makes its own choices while I am asleep. The pain isn't strong enough to wake me up like a cramp would be, but I already don't care very much for morning and having the first thing I experience when I wake up is nagging pain, well, that's not very nice.

I haven't been to the hospital in a while and really would prefer to not go back just to have them tell me the same things they have been telling me the last few times I was there. Such is the majesty of language differences. The doctors know their stuff, this much I am certain of, but they cannot convey all of this information in English so I don't even bother to go. The same is true of physical therapists. These people are skilled, sure, but they don't speak English very well and therefore I don't feel very inclined to use them.

So right now I don't feel healed, even though I don't have to wear a brace and I can do most normal things as long as it doesn't involve getting heavy things down from the top shelf.

This is all kind of depressing to me because these are problems that I normally associate with people a great deal older than I am. My only hope now is that things are just going to magically sort themselves out over time. I'm afraid I don't have enough experience with being injured to really know when that time will be though. I don't like feeling useless in any capacity, and not being able to raise my left hand all the way up is pretty darn frustrating.