Is it just me, or does everyone else on SteemIt feel more successful since they joined, too? It's a very rare thing in life to find a community of people who actually makes you feel SMARTER for having had the privilege of being introduced to them!

(If you have missed the previous parts in this series, please review them before you continue or you'll be missing important information.)
Part 1: https://steemit.com/introduce/@bi5h0p/3-weeks-300-followers-anyone-can-steemit-part-1
Part 2: https://steemit.com/introduce/@bi5h0p/3-weeks-300-followers-anyone-can-steemit-part-2
Part 3: https://steemit.com/introduce/@bi5h0p/500-followers-5-weeks-anyone-can-steemit-part-3

Let's review:
At age 20, I violently assaulted and nearly killed a man. After being diagnosed with "Sadism" and sentenced to 60 years in Oregon State Hospital, I began "treatment." Judges, Doctors, Lawyers, Social Workers, Nurses, almost everybody told me there was no way out - no chance that I could be rehabilitated. After 14 difficult (but necessary) years of self-examination, work, & improvement, I was granted a Conditional Release back into the community. Since then, I have been living in the community, in Eastern Oregon, for more than 10 years. After 24 years of "treatment," I continue to fulfill the requirements of the State Psychiatric Board & remain under close supervision. During my time in the community, I have been doing my best to put my life back together again.

Some of the keys to my success have been accepting my broken & deprived character, working towards successfully treating my mental illness while not using it as an excuse for bad behavior, working hard to go above and beyond what was asked of me, and taking responsibility for my own life - taking stock of what I had become, what I had done, and then deciding to try everything I could to get better, until I finally developed some skills and tools that could work for me.

One thing I struggled very hard with was learning how to forgive myself of what I had done. I was raised in a pretty strict "Christian" home, going to church all of my life, never really understanding a proper concept of what or who, "God," really was. To me, the idea of "God" was always something like, Zeus - waiting up there, somewhere in the sky, to hit me with a lightning-bolt whenever I wasn't perfect, which was most of the time. No matter how well I did, or how much I achieved, it was never quite good enough to measure up to that "perfect" standard - so I was doomed, in my own mind. I believed I was a complete hypocrite and a failure. Nevermind that I got good grades all through school, played sports, was well-liked, had beautiful girlfriends, worked hard, etc. I was trying to pay off a "sin" debt that I was never going to be able to pay, through my own efforts. I don't like to be "preachy" at people or anything, but understanding the life and significance of Jesus Christ helped me with coming to terms with the cycle of feeling so frustrated - like I was never going to be good enough. My view of what, "God" was really like was what was wrong - I didn't understand it, at all.

Somebody once described it to me like this, "A proper and realistic concept of God is going to be the greatest determining factor of your mental health." I had to re-learn what I had been taught my entire life going to church - because I had it all wrong. I was still stuck in the performance trap of trying to "earn" my way into heaven after 20 years of being raised in churches. It's difficult to wrap your head around the idea of a "free gift," or "grace" and "mercy." It's hard to understand what pure, unadulterated "love" is really all about - especially when every single relationship in my life was broken. I had to come to an understanding that I could actually have a relationship with God. One that is more real and has a greater impact on me than anything I had ever experienced before.

The whole topic of "spirituality" and "God" has become extremely polarizing in our modern culture. It is the subject of much debate and contention, so I will leave off of this topic by saying that it is vitally important to come to some kind of terms with this aspect of your life, if you feel like it is an important piece of your own human experience. It was for mine.

Let the Cloud mine cryptocurrencies for you, while you are asleep!
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