The Depressed Jerk

The Depressed Jerk wanted a rubber chicken that they would smash. This could be considered a fairly strange idea, to my children, but not to the Jerk, who expected that the idea was awesome. You wouldnt have thought, a rubber chicken would be the item chosen.

The Depressed Jerk found a bag of poop that they would often put on his head. This seems a fairly peculiar thing to do, to me and my children, but not to the Jerk, who thinks that this idea was amazing. Strangely, a bag of poop being the thing opted for.

The Depressed Jerk desperately needed a dildo that they would rub on his belly. One might consider this to be a new undertaking, to some, but not to the Jerk, who assumed that the idea was exciting. A dildo is the item to select.

The Depressed Jerk desperately searched for a pen that they would often worship. One might say this is a fairly surprising operation, to me, my mum and my dad, but not to the Jerk, who had come to the conclusion that this idea is wonderous. Bizarrely, a pen is the item to opt for.

The Depressed Jerk desperately searched for a Harry Potter wand that they sometimes demolish. This could be considered a peculiar thing to do, to my neighbour, but not to the Jerk, who had decided it would be awe-inspring. Strangely, a Harry Potter wand would be the item that was opted for.

The Depressed Jerk carried a painting of a melon that they would occasionally sleep with. It should have been a fairly original thing to do, to my grandpa, but not to the Jerk, who had come to the conclusion that it was in fact, entertaining. Who would have imagined, a painting of a melon of all things.