The Grumpy Jerk

The Grumpy Jerk carried a sword that they would occasionally try to balance on their head. This could be considered a fairly extraordinary operation, to my mum, but not to the Jerk, who thinks it would be fun. Remarkably, a sword is the thing that was chosen.

The Grumpy Jerk desperately wanted a lava lamp that they liked to try to nail to the wall. It was considered to be an astonishing action, to me and my children, but not to the Jerk, who had decided it would be exciting. Who would have imagined, a lava lamp was the thing that was chosen.

The Grumpy Jerk often carried a can of Tango that they liked to smash. This seems a surprising idea, to me and my wife, but not to the Jerk, who thinks it was epic. A can of Tango is the item to opt for.

The Grumpy Jerk desperately searched for a block of cheese that they would put down their trousers. It might be a fairly strange thing to do, to my grandma, but not to the Jerk, who had decided that the idea was fun. A block of cheese would be the item chosen.

The Grumpy Jerk desperately craved for a little monkey that they would often try to balance on their head. It was considered to be a fairly funny exercise, to you and me, but not to the Jerk, who thinks it would be entertaining. Bizarrely, a little monkey was the item that was opted for.

The Grumpy Jerk carried a rubber chicken that they would occasionally insert somewhere. This might appear to be a fairly astonishing action, to you and me, but not to the Jerk, who felt that this idea is wonderful. Honestly, a rubber chicken was the item that was chosen.