Make day funny (6783y)

When Obama declared war on Ebola, an executive producer at Fox News tried to find it on google maps.

All toilet seats can be heated toilet seats if you push people off them and sit real fast.

""Please ma'am! How do you spell ichael?"" The teacher was rather bewildered. ""Don't you mean Michael?"" she asked. ""No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already.""

Me: Mozart was a great composer, but now that he's dead he's a great Wife: I swear to God I'll divorce you Me: *through tears* Decomposer.

What do books wear on a rainy day? Rain Quotes