Have a great laugh :)

1. My grandfather always said, “Don’t watch your money; watch your health.” So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather!

2. One day, I showed up late for work. The boss yelled “You should have been here at 8:30!” I replied: “Why? What happened at 8:30?”

3. My sister was with two men in one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!

4. I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

5. The only reason people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.6. To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.

6. If ugliness was a crime, you would be serving 3 life sentences.

7. I’ve been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife ever finds out, she would kill me!

8. A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed. “Have you any last requests? Asked the chaplain. “Yes,” replied the murderer. “Will you hold my hand?”

9. Note – The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.

Hope you had a good laugh! :)