Gate Keeping Emotions

I'm not sure if ya'll have experienced this phenomenon lately but it generally tends to go like this...

You're in the middle of having a discussion with someone and suddenly they get upset with you.
Something you have said has triggered them in such a way that they get get upset with what word you used rather than the intent behind it.
In doing so, you have now unleashed a raging ball of emotion hidden in the bowels of the flesh bag on the other end of the computer screen from you.
Now suddenly this individual starts degrading you while simultaneously trying to correct your incorrect speech that has clearly destroyed their whole day, possibly their whole week.
And all this was over a toad that someone squished 5 years ago that they just met who was their best friend that you called a frog.

WTF right?

Since when were we assigned the task to GATE KEEP people's emotions?

Yes, I said it. Gate keeping.

gate·keep·ing
/ˈɡātˌkēpiNG/
Learn to pronounce
noun
noun: gate-keeping
1.the activity of controlling, and usually limiting, general access to something.

Gate Keeping is usually something we hear when we hear of subcultures being "protected" by newer members of said subculture. For example in my own experience - it's kind of cute watching these new up and coming little metal heads protecting the music from my age and designating only certain people are allowed to be metal heads, what entitles you to be a metal head, etc. etc. Back in my day (and I'm not even 30 yet) if you listened to metal music, you were a metal head. Lots of different genres but in the end we're all the same. We all show up to a concert with our friends, listen to the tunes, mosh and have a good time.

But what does this have to do with emotions?

I've observed this past while the increasing phenomena of "safe spaces" and the band-aid tools being used to hide or divert one's emotions from themselves. If something is "too triggering" (cue these ridiculous trigger warnings), one must step on egg shells in order not to upset someone else's feelings that would cause them to become uncomfortable or hell, possibly experience an uncomfortable emotion like sadness or anger. This causes such unimaginable tension and stress on the side of the speaker that you'll say something wrong or you'll fart in the wrong direction when dealing with certain people to have them come flying off the handle.

Now before I continue any further since I know there are going to be people who are going to read this up until this point and get triggered who then are going to argue that some people simply are not ready or are not comfortable dealing with things such as trauma.
Just hang with me for a minute and let me explain before you explode.

Yes, I completely and fully understand that everyone is different with their own experiences, thoughts, emotions, etc. etc. etc. What may be traumatic to one individual may not be a big deal to another. And that DOES NOT make their experiences, thoughts and emotions with said experience ANY LESS VALID.
This is not a pissing contest on who has it worse. This also does not throw things like PTSD under the same umbrella as just some willy nilly issue that can be solved with a quick meditation.
Please, do not for even one second assume that just because I speak of a generality that I do not comprehend that there are circumstances that exist outside those generalities or that this is as easy as plugging together a couple blocks and calling it done.

Now that being said, back to the topic at hand.

It's becoming quite disturbing to me that so many people are unwilling to face their uncomfortable emotions but would rather expect others to protect their emotions from themselves. They want other to Gate Keep their emotions so keep them out of discomfort. I truly do think this is leading to more child-like hurt people.

Child like seems to be a pretty harsh thing to say doesn't it?
Is it though?

When we are kids, how many times do our parents tell us to quit crying, get over it or hell even beat our emotions out of us. Or beat them back into us. We aren't validated. We aren't heard. We do not have parents there who are willing to HOLD SPACE for us so that we can sort through our own emotions. Many of them aren't willing to simply allow us to feel and support us through what we need when these uncomfortable emotions arise.

This in turn has bled into a whole society of emotionally unstable children unable to function on a daily basis without drowning out our pain and sorrows with pills or some other altering substance.

(And again, I'm not knocking people who take pharmaceuticals for help. If it works for you even though you've tried it all from the light therapy to the essential oils to the self help groups, you're a grown ass adult and I trust you will make the best decision for you at the end of the day.)

A society of self where the only thing that matters is me and I will do whatever it takes to make myself comfortable - even if that means forcing others to censor themselves just to make me comfortable.

I don't know about ya'll, but I'm a little fed up with speaking to groups of people yet simultaneously having to be responsible for how they react. That's not to say I won't consider their thoughts and emotions when trying to convey a message appropriately - especially in a private conversation with a single individual.

That is also not to say that I will say whatever I want and think I am free of consequence. You don't threaten people thinking you're just gonna get away with it. We still do have rules in place based in natural law on how to conduct one's self appropriately to the best of our ability outside of the confines of cultural construct which are an added layer.

However I grow tired of babysitting people who should be adults.

It's time for people to start doing the shadow work required to grow so they can take care of themselves leaving us to be who we need to be - the support rather than the parent.