National Fingernail Policy
Why doesn't government have a plan for fingernails?
They don't tell the citizens when to trim them or clean them. They don't have rules about fingernail decoration-- paint, sequins, protective coatings, shapes.
What about the danger of extra-long or sharp assault fingernails? No one needs those on our streets!
What of nail-biting? And hangnails? And what about toenails?
Why? Why doesn't my government tell me what to do? How do I know if I'm doing it right? I can't! I'm on my own. There's just chaos! DOOOOM!!!
And this is EXACTLY how stupid statists sound when they whine that they want government to have a plan for other things-- health care, "immigration", trade, climate-- too.
If it's important to you, come up with your own plan and follow it. Don't rob the rest of us to silence your bonnet-bee.
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We need to ban those scary assault nails!
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HAHA, just you wait... just you wait... I would not put it past them. Give them a few years. I mean, they have even put a bill to fine men for masturbation (although it is supposed to be satirical...but who knows maybe they will actually pass it).
https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/323624-texas-state-rep-proposes-fines-for-masturbation
Loving the Patreon link btw :)
Vermin Supreme's platform is primarily mandatory toothbrushing.