Knitting Myself Back Together

borrowedearth (57)in #life • 6 years ago

I have been fairly quiet here on Steemit these past few months as I have been internally mucking out the stalls of my soul.

It is now time to introduce another side of myself. It is time to be seen as the whole woman I am... as messy as that may be.

I have not been quiet about the fact that I have come to this Mountaintop Homestead to Heal. However, I have not spoken much about the Healing, the Wholing or why it is needed.

I sit here today in what feels like a VOID. I am seven years into this healing work. It has been work of undoing, work of releasing, work of witnessing. I really don't like where I currently am sitting... This VOID.

I expected things to begin to get easier. To begin to grow and flourish. What I found instead was a much DEEPER layer of work to be done.

The work of Knitting Myself Back Together.

I have picked up a project, actually several bits of old projects, to work on in thoughtful knitting meditation. I am one whose hands must be busy to focus my mind.

I am an adult child of a deceased alcoholic. I learned many behaviors while growing up that were designed to keep me safe, sane and keep the family functioning.

The time has come to change many of these behaviors. They are not needed in my present life. They prevent me from being all I can be. I am on a brain reprogramming journey into myself.