An oily thing that slithered blackly within unseen spaces.

Is this the eloquent way of calling him a greaseball? lol

Mate, I think the bugger tried to poison you. You should never put something in your mouth that smells like a menstrual cramp gone bad. I'd say congrats on the "Promotion" but I don't see it going all that swimmingly up there. I guess only time will tell.