Get Over it

Reflecting back 1 year ago, I remember there was a time where something had a huge effect on me. And it ate at me everyday. Losing someone sucks; whether its someone passing away or someone choosing to leave you behind. And I guess the issue I had with the whole situation at the time was that it felt like the sadness or hurt kept lingering around me. Literally every single day, it was a copy and paste type of day. I would get up feeling the same. As if the dark cloud hung over me everywhere I went. And this would feel like it would not get better.

I remember looking at my friends and family for some guidance on what to do. Of course, they offer me some advices with "Order yourself a drink, and don't even over think, go out tonight". "why you staying home today?" "go out tonight". And I think my biggest question often left unanswered or maybe the answer I was looking for isn't there is "When will all of this completely stop and I don't have to feel this way anymore?". And of course they would answer me with "man just give it some time, you'll get over it soon". But you see, the issue for me is that "TIME" seems to have stood still. You feel stuck feeling this way for what seems to be eternity. Its funny because looking back now, it does feel like its a bit silly, but when you're in it, its almost like nothing is eluding to you getting over it and you can't really help but laugh, but also understand. but yeah, I remember being upset at the fact that time would not move for me and it sucked a lot feeling that way, for days and weeks and months.

Boy this house is way too clean

But something...in the least expected way, seems to have whispered to me reassuring me that time has in fact, been moving all along. It was a tree. Lol yes a tree has sent me some weird nature signals letting me know that I am getting better, and I am improving and that time is indeed moving.

There was this tree I always stand under while waiting for my shuttle to work. After parking at the lot, I would stand and wait under the tree for shade or shelter from the rain. Its crazy because at this point, it was December. And I noticed that the tree no longer had leaves. At that very moment, everything hit me like a truck. And I realize then, that time has been moving all along. I guess what I noticed back then is that during the time of pain or sadness, I remember hating everything in my surrounding that reminded me of that sad part of my life. I hated looking at the skyline, I hate looking at the walls in my room, I hated the view of my office, I hated my everyday routine. I literally hated everything that was around me. I hated that tree, that I stand under. It feels like it was laughing at me for being so sad by whatever is effecting me. And its funny. Because that very tree that let me know that it was there when it was hot and I needed shade from the sun is now unable to help me because its leaf-less in the winter. That was the symbol of time moving.

So...yes. Time is probably the only thing that can help you get over something tragic. Believe me. I know if you're reading this and you too, are asking "how can time possibly do that", my only advice is that you need to grab a chair, set it down, and just fucking sit there in the eye of the storm...and let time do its thing. I think the thing is that when something hurts or when something tragic, we want to simply escape or get it over with. But the truth is the best way is to face it head on and let time do it's medicine. Of course, you don't want to just sit there...you want to improve and be better. Obviously sitting around and do nothing hoping you'll get over it doesn't work. So in the mean TIME, take the time to build....yourself.......a bridge....and.....GET OVER IT.