How To Start A Conversation With Anyone

in #life7 years ago (edited)

Hi there!! How are you?

So like you can see in today's post we will talk about "How To Start A Conversation With Anyone".

Some of my friends have an interesting image about me. They say that I can start a conversation with everyone and anywhere easily. And it's true. I LOVE to meet new people. Understand the"why" of the people. Why they like what they like. What they think about something. What motivates them. And so on.

For me, it's something natural talk with people and I really enjoy it. But I notice that for some people is a really hard task to start a conversation with someone new. For this reason, I will share with you 2 "tricks" I use to start a conversation and I share 2 good stories :)

1 Be An "Ask" Person

Sometimes I'm bored in the subway. I already did 3 times full scroll on facebook, my phone died, I'm without net... Well, you get the point.

At these times I'm looking for someone "free" like me. Someone without a smartphone on their hands, or a book or someone who is not listening to music.

When I find someone I go there sit and just ask something like: 

Hello! Can you help me, please? I would like to visit something interesting here in Lisbon. Do you know anything? 

Everybody knows a good spot. Even when the answer is "No, sorry". You just need to do the right questions. Ask the same question but in a different way like. 

Ok. No problem. Just for curiosity. When you want to go out. What is your favorite spot?

Usually, people say something more specific. Use this! Ask why they like? What's there? Use "open questions". Questions where a simple "yes" or "no" doesn't work.

In my case, I already meet great people! For example. One day I was in the subway station in Lisbon and was lunch time. I was sitting on a bench, looking for a restaurant on my phone when I heard 2 girls talking about food and stuff like that so I just say:

Hello! I'm new here and I'm looking for a place for lunch. Do you know any cool place?

Girls: It depends... Do you know Rossio and Chiado? (some places in Lisbon)

Me: More or less. I know some cool spots on the area.

Girls: Well, in this case. We are getting some Italian friends. This is the first time they are here in Portugal and they want a "tour" of the city. But is our first Month here. We came from Porto and need some help... Can you help us?

So, the conversations continuo but you get the point. I was alone and after I was having lunch with a lot of people. I Meet     Giulia and Francesco a cute couple. And of course, the 2 girls. Maria and Beatriz.

So, all started with a simple question "Do you know any cool place?" Yes, I know. I was lucky at the time. But you get the point. Just do a question and let it go.

2 The "Hello" Guy

Like I already said. For me, it's a pleasure meeting new people. When I go to a party where I don't know anyone I usually need "break the ice" so I just say: 

I don't think I've met you yet, I'm Rui. (smiling obviously)



This works wonders!! Why? Because this communicates amazing things.

First communicates that "we are supposed to have met at this point". Second, this communicates that I'm a social person since I starting the conversation. 

It's normal people follow the idea. So I just stick my hand and they reflexively shake my hand. And again. Just be an "Ask person". And start asking. How do you like it here? What brings you here? Can you introduce me to someone else?

That's going to get the conversation going.

It's just this. Don't worry about anything in specific. You are not in a job interview. 

To prove this I have a small story. My English isn't very good it's true. But my English was much worse.

Someday I was at an Erasmus party. So all the people were talking in English... So what I would I do?... I could not start a conversation using jokes because I didn't know any... I had and have issues with verbal conjugations... So, yah... I was in a difficult situation... But hey "What is a fart for who are already shitting"? I don't know if I did the right traduction but I think you understand what I'm saying. xb

So, I went to talk to someone who seemed nice and say:

"Hello. I Rui. My English don't very good. But I want to improve. Can you show me someone to talk?"

Yes... I know. It looks like Tarzan when he speaks... It was one of the most horrible presentations in my life... But it worked and I met really nice people!

Conclusion

Most of the people enjoy meeting new people. Or perhaps just talking with someone new in boring moments or in parties. So don't think too much. Just be an "Ask Person" and feel the flow. I believe that you will meet some great people!

It's all for today. Let me know what you think about it. I would love to read one of your stories. Use the comment section to do it.

And like always,

See you later!

Sort:  

The bit about Tarzan made me laugh. How delightful and inspiring ;)

It reminds me of a Rudyard Kipling poem: Six honest serving men

I KEEP six honest serving-men
(They taught me all I knew);
Their names are What and Why and When
And How and Where and Who.
I send them over land and sea,
I send them east and west;
But after they have worked for me,
I give them all a rest.

These are all good words to open up a conversation. Examples:

What the hell do you think you're doing?
Why are you wearing that?
When are you leaving?
How do you not know this?
Where's my wallet?
Who do you think you're looking at?

You can probably think of a friendlier way though :D

Such a good metaphor! I had never read this. Thanks for sharing :)

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Well... All the examples are good but... We can work on that ahah

I suppose you don't like very much people like me in this situations ahahah
Am I right? xb

Thanks ddua :D

Yes, we can work on my conversation skills lol.

I love extroverted people actually. But, sometimes, I just wanna be in my own head, thinking. I lean more towards introversion. That's why I have my phone/book -- pretend to be reading and they don't bother ya :p

I love it how he said "Suck a good metaphor" to you Anj
HEHEHEHE

HAHAHA Trust you (again).
It IS brilliant though.

Being, you know, a lady, I declined mentioning it.

You kill me off
EVERY TIME
XD

Whats the problem? eheh
The English people don't use this expression? xb

LOL there's no problem. You said I 'suck a good metaphor' which sounds a bit ... let's start here...

Metaphor -- represents or symbol of something else
Suck -- I dunno. What can a girl suck?

Saying I suck a good metaphor is actually perfect and funny. And poetic even.

I think you meant to say 'such' instead of 'suck'
:D

Eheheh I'm sorry! Yes, of course!
I didn't realize my mistake

I will rectify my answer right now!

Let me now how can I help you!
Do you want a post about something? :)

Sorry, I missed this before.

It's up to you what you write about. Most days, I read some posts and this inspires me to write something else. Like your post inspired me to write about conversations too. I'll write and post that tomorrow.

Write what makes you happy
Best wishes
Anj x

So sweet :)

I will! I'm waiting for your post! :)

Yeah, there are many ways to start a conversation, but none of these phrases seem to be them hahahahaha

haha yes, I need help with my 'people skills' sometimes :p

Let me know if I can help you :)

Thanks ddua. I'll keep reading your posts for tips :D

Anj x

You are the one!! :)
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Well can be a good starting point to a physical conversation ahah

It takes a lot of courage to do that, so I am glad it is paying off. In this kind of scenario for me it is facing a fear of rejection. Which is course is silly. This at least makes life interesting for everyone else, even if they don't want to talk haha.

When I'm scared to face rejection, I just kinda force myself. I invent invisible hands to push my hands with to walk forward and chat the lucky individual up. Most of the times it's very worth it and we end up sharing laughs and anecdotes. I think it's always worth it to give it a try even if sometimes you're faced with a of indifference or rejection.

A really nice comment! Thanks Sharon! :)
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That's a great initiative!
I agree with you. We can learn a bunch of things talking and meet new people!

How do you start a conversation in a regular situation? Do you use any of this tips?

Not really. I have my own set of resources. I usually look at the person, look for something of interest on them and ask them about it. Otherwise, I ask about the current situation. Things like "how long does it take to get to the front of this line?". It's very easy to use these things because you don't actually jump on them with excentric happiness but you just use naturality to gradually switch them into conversation mode.

Well done Sharon! You are a master in this types of situation I see eheh

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Thanks!!! I really appreciated!

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I have some issue to understand. Do you have scare of rejection? :)

I think he means he's scared that he'll walk up to someone to talk and the other person will look at him with hateful eyes and say "why are you talking to me, you small fry?"

Owh. Now I get it!

Yes, to doing this I recommend doing a quick check before to start talking eheheh

Well that's me! I'm always talking with random people. Whenever I feel like it, I just walk to someone and chat them up about something that seems kinda interesting. I think this has helped me a lot on Steemit, actually hahaha. I can just comment on any post, even if I don't know what the hell they're talking about.

It's useful for meeting new people. Sometimes my friends get all nervous when trying new things, going to their first business meeting or interview or date. This is a skill that is worth practicing, since it gets you many many friens over time.

Yes, your comments are always very good! You know how to write a comment to start a good conversation. But are not you an introvert person?

I got this idea in one of our prevest conversations. :)

I don't think I fit in these tags. I talk a lot, I'm very friendly and I can become friends with almost anyone I talk to in person. I don't fear talking to strangers or inciting trouble with my words. But I enjoy being at home, working on stuff, writing, programming, etc.

I guess I'm both at the same time. I'm an extroverted loner with a passion for building stuff by myself. What are you?

Well after reading this and the last two @newra posts I start thinking I'm exactly like you xb

So we are a mix between a introvert and extrovert person. It's funny and curious... eheh

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That was helpful
Thank you for sharing about socialization.

Yup-yup, so many people need to start socializing! Many think that society is a hateful thing when it's actually as open as you want it to be.

Good point! You already are a master in this!

You welcome man!
Do you have any tips to share too? :)

@thehrinco

@hr1 can you help me to understand what is the earthnation-bot? :)

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Keep on working man, don't lose Steem! I mean Steam! You'll get there.

I don't get it...
Steam? Did I write "Steam" somewhere? xb

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Ah!! Ok ok eheh

Thanks, max! I hope you are right :)