Changing Directions... and People's Reactions
It's funny how much people seem to be attached to others "being a certain way."
As I am going through a period with lots of life changes, I'm getting to experience a lot of people's reactions these days, and it would seem that change makes a lot of folks feel uneasy.
Perhaps what happens when we let someone know that we are changing direction is that they are reminded in some subtle — and not-so-subtle — way that they are stuck in a rut of their own that they are not entirely pleased with.
Lavender and grass in the sun...
Pleased... or Upset?
When someone I know tells me they are making major changes in their life, I am usually excited and happy for them... unless it is painfully obvious that they are about to take a short walk off a very tall cliff.
Somehow, that feels like a psychologically "healthy response.
As I have been telling people that we are closing our store and I am going back to being a book editor, I have been getting a lot of "are you sure that's WISE?" reactions.
"Well, why not?"
I suppose we are often too mired down in our own trips to fully appreciate and empathize with someone else's situation. The subtext I'm picking up is that the folks advising me to be cautious have a certain emotional investment in things not changing, and I am upsetting that apple cart by my changes.
Daisies in the sun
A Time of Changes
A lot of things seem to be changing, these days. Maybe I am noticing, simply because I always pay attention to synchronicity.
Job changes, business endings, people moving, weddings, divorces... they seem to all be thick among the people in my life. There's a feeling there... it's like that time after a party at the end of a college semester, where everyone goes off in different directions... and you sort of know that nothing will ever be the same again.
At the moment, it just feels like there are lots of endings, but not very many beginnings.
But things are changing.
Going back to the college party analogy, it feels a bit like I am the one who's staying behind to clean up and then I will strike out with new plans, once everyone else has left town. Maybe I''ll get a postcard or two from abroad... maybe not.
Reminds me of a song title: "Lost, presumed having a good time..."
Belfair, WA, September 2006... my first point of landing after I moved to Washington
TEXAS... She Said!
Life is strange and cyclical. In a few weeks, Mrs. Denmarkguy heads to Texas to help a friend get her house packed up and ready to be sold, before she moves.
I mention it, because even though there is no connection there, she's going to be just a couple of miles from where I left Texas for the Pacific Northwest, in 2006.
Meanwhile, I close our little store here, and we begin anew. When I left Texas, I closed a store, too...
I realize this is perhaps a bit of a disjointed post; I suppose it's just one of those that's mostly here for my own recording purposes; an attempt to capture the mood and feelings of a moment.
And perhaps I should just leave it at that...
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Created at 190519 01:27 PST
1021
I’ve seen a lot of people fearful of change. Mostly this seems to stem from a lifetime of having to change not willing to initiate the change themselves on there terms.
I personally think it’s just a health thing to do from time to time. Sometimes you just need that reset and other times you knew you could be doing better doing something else and taking that risk. It’s also rather fun once someone learns to embrace it. It’s like going on a whole new adventure with so many unknowns you get to discover and learn from.
I think when people make judgements about other's life changes it is a simple projection as they may not be great with change themselves. Pretty obvious there. The interesting part could be that they make a judgement about your abilities to cope with change or make a success out of a change in life position. Maybe it is because of the desire for security being valued more than opportunity.
Change is movement, and movement is life, people are being stucked in their life and feel upset when someone does what they do not allow themselves to do...
that said, it can sometimes tells something about your own doubts, depending on how you receive their doubts :
if you do not mind what they are saying and it does not make you doubt about your decision, it's their own projection and it has no other impact on you than to make you notice that if you would like to be given some enthusiasm or such, you would definitely not adress to them next time...LoL
But if their doubts make you feel uncomfortable or stressed or even angry, they have probably pushed a button you prefer to not see and avoid, your own doubts on the situation...
then , others reaction can be of great help, not because of what they think or say, but because of the feelings and emotions it generates on us..
well, that's my way of feeling things ;-) As I know myself pretty good after these 50 years of traveling my path, I know recognize when I am in doubt, and I do not inform anybody about what I want to do as long as I am not steady enough in my good feeling of the rightness of the situation for me...because I have learnt that people give you their opinion whether you have asked for it or not, and I do not care other's opinions.
I appreciate some interaction but point of views are just point of views,I think what people can think about my life is irrelevant, they are not in my shoes and know nothing about what I'm living, the same for me in regard to their situation, that's why I never give advice, even asked, I just tell what I would eventually do in that case but it's just me, it doesn't mean THEY should do the same ^_^
BTW I wish you all good for all changes and turns you will decide to take ! How exciting is it to not know what is coming next ? I love this idea that nothing is certain, therefore everything is possible... 😊
You're right, my wife was very upset when I told her I was leaving her, as I was when girlfriends said they were leaving me
Your choices in life are just that - YOUR choices and people who really care for you should be supportive of them despite their own opinions and/or fears. Only WE know what the right path is.
I think it sounds like a really exciting change! Reminds me a lot of my own change too when I closed my shop. It was a BIG decision to make and there were many opinions flying around from all directions as we had been there for 11 years and were an integral part of a very loyal community - but I do not regret it for even a second! I am happier and less stressed now than I ever have been!
So I wish you ALL the best with your new adventure and I have no doubt that you are an amazing editor! Also, we will hopefully see more of you around here too xxx
It is simply that you are more receptive to those changes movement happening around yourself. By the fact, you are changing toward new things in your life at the moment.
Change for me is uncomfortable and scary and, I would like to avoid it as much as I can. Newsflash for me: everything in this world is changing constantly but, I still find this fact daunting sometimes.......