The mind, and brain, are where emotions come from. All things that happen, our thoughts, our feelings, our actions, are connected through neural pathways in the brain and the nervous system. The biology of the female and male brain are different. This has been necessary in the traditional family unit, (well in the past anyway) to optimise the chances of survival of the offspring. We develop patterns of thinking, usually entrenched through environmental factors and having certain thought patterns and behaviours validated in different scenarios throughout our life, which strengthen neural pathways. These patterns of thinking become habitual and are reflected by our actions. By changing your thinking, you actually create a physical change in your brain. Different behaviours are acceptable and effective in some scenarios and not in others and problems arise from mainly two things. Denying your emotions and allowing them to build up and burst open, and you become distressed wherever, and whenever, and using old behavioural patterns that are no longer efficient (or socially acceptable) in new stages of life. How do we change our thinking? Taking notice of our thoughts, letting them pass, like a cloud over a mountain, and practicing new ones. This is part of a thought changing process called Dialectics. It is very important, as you have pointed out, to acknowledge your emotions. But don't get attached to them. Don't use terms such as "I'm having a bad day." Because you are actually just having a moment. The brain cannot sustain an emotion, and the consequent hormonal cocktail that is released into the nervous system, for more than approximately 15 seconds. It has to be re-triggered after that. Which, by allowing a build up emotional hormones by not allowing yourself to healthily process emotions previously, and in times of intense circumstances, (such as grief, tragedy, crisis, being bombarded with too many demands, or winning the lotto) , will happen. Feeling the emotion for 15 seconds, recognising it, and letting it go, is a good way to ward of the distress which leads to overwhelming emotional outbursts and breakdowns. Of course it's not as simple as this in practice, but practice you must, to achieve this as an habitual state of being.
Modern Western psychology has adopted this type of therapy for use in a range of maladies. Tibetan Buddhists, have been using it for thousands of years in their day to day life, to achieve contentment and the inner peace that eludes us so often, our hectic western lives. Today it is known in medicine as DBT. Often referred to as mindfulness therapy. It was designed by a Tibetan Buddhist, Marcia Linehan, to aid sufferers of chronically suicidal BPD (which is a potentially terminal mental illness) but has been adapted to be used in an array of mental illnesses, depression, addiction, anxiety, to name some. But it is also used by counsellors, to nip destructive thought patterns in the bud, before they lead to illness. There is lots of information online about it, and there is something to gain from it by everyone. I think you'd like it, that is if you haven't discovered it already, which I suspect you have.
Wow, that is some really great information! I completely understand the concept, but to see the scientific process takes it even deeper. I recognize that when I am thinking that the day is going to be long and stressfull, and change that to 'it's going to be a great day', I can physically feel my body change its entire demeanor. What I didn't realize was how much science is behind that. Knowing that really does make it easier, there are predetermined destinations, we just decide which route to take that day. I'll probably re-read your comment a few times 😁
Thank you for the great feedback and a fresh perspective!
Wow. Thank you. I really liked your post and that people have read it. We get so little education in western society on how to be emotionally healthy. Doctors mostly give out pills rather than therapy or emotional exercises. I have followed you and hope to see more of your insights in blogs.
Thank you so much for that, I really appreciate it! Very encouraging :) I agree 100%, so many people we all know are on some sort of 'fix it' pill. Don't get me wrong, mental health issues are real and there really are people who have needed a bit of help (including myself for a period of time). But there is so much more to mental and emotional health, and a lot of it really requires hard work on our part. Thanks so much for the feedback, following and looking forward to your pieces as well!