You are right.

The people here don't care how bad I wreck myself trying to promote steem globally, and so they willl be indifferent to the fact that I am back to working overtime/weekends instead of pomoting steem in my free time.

Yes, I give to others because I am used to being broke. But being broke all my life never prepared me to learn how to preserve the wealth that fell into my lap when the bitcoin market blew up last year. I followed those who believed that the end of this year would be a great time to harvest, and have been rekt by partying in cryptoland when I should have been learning just how hard it is to get out of this investment. My mistake, so now I am liquidating at a fraction of what many were able to do at this summer, and I am glad that at least some people were able to take advantage of my temporay good luck.

I might have been able to preserve it had I been smarter, but the hard way is how I have learned most of my life lessons. I am so stupid that dim is not my middle name, but rather my first, primary identifier, and frankly it sucks. I hate myself for being so stupid, but I have to face reality, and get back to killing myself to live, while looking at the bright side that things can only improve especially when the moment of my death is fast approaching to free me from this feeling of inadequacy and failure.

But my hope for the future still lives in the fact that I am not powering down 100% but rather simplifying my overly complicated steemit existance with the 2019 delegations having only 1 simple rule.

I never asked for upvotes so I can't be dissappointed for not receiving anything but self votes in my journey to create a steem based business.

But my tremendous failure has caused me to lose the ability to continue to devote time to steemit considering the value of what I was unable to retain for my friends, family, self, and you.

I have wasted too much of my own time and money and creative efforts here to the point of missing out on what in hindsight was the opportunity to change many more lives for the better, especially my own. Now I never want to waste another second of my incresingly limited time here focusing on me.

So I am muting you for breaking the only rule when you asked me a question and referred to me with the word "you"

I make myself sick, and will not be awarding anybody anymore who makes me sick to my stomach which is what I feel any and everytime I think about me.

But I am awarding you a 1000 steem power delegation for the year 2019.

Starting Jan1 2019, If you or any other 2019 delegates break the only rule again, then I will terminate the delegation immediately and give the person who reported you to me a 10% finders fee.

TLDR:

If you refer to me anytime or anywhere (on or offline) and someone else can prove it, then you lose your delegation and they receive 10% of the amount of your delegation as a reward.

I am delegating you a 1,000 SP 1-year dumb-contract for the year 2019 because I do not have the time and energy required to create content anymore especially now that bear market has rekt me. Now too am I following the lemmings now by being no longer bullish on crypto for 2019. In hindsight, I should have left last year. Because getting out of steem now is not going to change my life. For me, it's back to the impossible grind.

For me, steem in 2019 will be a place where I can spend a few minutes to forget about my shitty life, and live vicariously through the eyes and experiences of my delegates.

I have been proven wrong for looking at steem as a tool for business, and am going to use it as simply a tool for entertainment/relaxation/meditation in the future.

Those who inspire me receive delegations, those who do not, will receive upvotes until I am broke, and those who refer to me get muted. Because my stomach needs my steemit experience to be dimimp-free.

I hope to begin announcing the 2019 delegates after the next power down