Should We All Wait To Get Married?
Steemit Friends, Web explorers, I need everyones' perspective here in answering this question..
The vast majority of people I know (millennials) have:
A) Student Loan Debt
B) Credit Card Debt
C) Divorced Parents
D) Parents who are married but aren't happy
Do you think a lot of this can be avoided simply by waiting until your 30's or 40's to get married? Is that even realistic?
Another question that comes up along these lines is:
Is it even responsible to have kids before you get rid of thousands in student loans?
I'm not trying to say a certain set of individuals shouldn't have kids - it's everyone's right - but do you think we should promote a new philosophy here on being responsible (Financially) parents?
Honestly I want to hear from anyone who has an opinion on this - I think these are questions that don't get much attention. I also think that with some examination of what people do now, as well as what the past generations have been doing (regarding marriage, having kids, incurring debt) the Steemit community ALONE can come up with some really insightful guidelines and philosophies that can make life easier for everyone coming up in these volatile times :D
Thanks for checking in and let me know your thoughts! I need some new insights on LIFE more than anyone!
Your friendly local musician,
Drew
great post. this is something i think about a lot. i'm 37. i don't have kids and have never been married. why? all the reasons you've listed. i also have a few i'd like to add:
today, marriage is a contract humans sign with the state in exchange for tax benefits. these benefits incentivize child birth. they also reward parents who stay married while raising their kids. what does that mean? the king needs subjects, and he's willing to pay to get them.
in the current system, your government-incentivized child will be given a number, and propagandized into the machine through school and media. what does the machine want? they want you to show up to work on time, take out college loans, buy a house, and make more babies. be a good person, and you will fall in love and everything will be great. i call it the disney ideal.
traditionally, marriages were arranged by parents for practical reasons. bakers married other bakers because each had been raised by a baker and already knew the ins and outs of the family business. now we get married for love, a fleeting feeling that often leads to divorce, a different form of financial ruin and debt slavery.
the world needs people, but do we need more than 7 billion of them? probably not. if you have always dreamed of having children, by all means, do that. but if you think it's a bad thing to give birth to future debt slaves who will be trained to fight in wars by a government bent on global domination, there should be no shame in avoiding the path of our forefathers.
thanx for beginning to normalize this important topic. i believe birth rates will be one of the most important topics for humanity moving forward.
Dude you are the mannnn
Well this is probably the only thing in life you actually cannot plan. When you meet 'THAT person' you wanna spend your whole life with and feel the need to have that ring as a symbol and special bond between the two of you, then you'll do it. I was engaged a couple of years ago and remember that in meetings always put my hand on the table that way others could see the ring on my finger. Again, if you meet HIM/HER, then going All In is the only way.
I know two couples in my inner circle of family and friends who married because "they are made for each other". That's what I'd call the perfect scenario. I wouldn't marry anyone if I wasn't in the very same situation. I don't wanna hear stories about taxes. To me marriage is still the most romantic thing on Earth. Wait? For what? Life is now.
Amen :-)
why do you need to sign a marriage licence with the state to confirm that you've found 'THAT person?' just live with that person forever. i don't know if you're a man or a woman, or where you live, but if you are a surfer dude from america, and you get married and then divorced, you will be forced to pay for your perfect female's divorce lawyer. that lawyer will likely tell your former lover to drag things out so it costs more, further debilitating your ability to fight for your domicile and possessions. you will also likely lose custody over your children and be forced to give more than half of your worth (after paying for both sides of the divorce) to the person you married. if you're a female surfer, that's a good deal. if you're a male, i propose not getting married out of protest until the laws have been changed.
Sounds like you've made some bad experiences. Sorry for that!
Lucky me! I'm a surfer girl not living in the US and fully agree on your first two sentences :-) I could live with the person I love forever and ever without any paperwork. True story! Maybe it'll be like this, who knows.
However, I like the idea of calling HIM my husband and sharing the same family name. I like the idea of being married. In a world where you hardly find people that commit themselves to anything, it's the last romantic dream I have. Your argument about money can't change that...:-)
I think everybody has to find their path. There is no wrong or right about relationships...
love is one of the best things. i hope u find it. if you do, i hope you do not register your relationship with the state. in a world where, as you say, people hardly commit to anything, i hope you see the danger of promising to stay with someone forever, then signing a legal document to that effect. i realize calling HIM your husband is exciting, but it is a high cost for such a small distinction. thank you for commenting on this subject, it is an important one, and we need lots of ideas, but you are a female. you don't understand. wealth, for men, is equivalent to being attractive to a woman, a symbol of who we are. we think about it. we obsess about it, the same way you obsess over your hair, body, and make up. i have seen friends fall in love only to have their emotional and financial security taken, along with their children. this fate is not inevitable, in america you get a 50/50 shot. to unmarried american males reading this thread: even odds you're going to loose more than half of what you've built if you marry wrong. before you sign that contract, make sure you understand the cost.
Hair and Make-up? I'm a surfer 😅✌️
Have a good time see ya around
you missed the point. i figured u would. i'll state it again in simpler terms. psychologically, female beauty, however u define it, is equal to male financial security. would you still want to get married if divorce made you ugly? maybe, but you'd also be less likely to do it.
guys: divorce is likely to ruin you financially. that will make you less attractive to members of the opposite sex. be careful.
Haha, thanks for the "simple terms" and your warning. I think we are living on two different planets :-)) But that's OK. Take care.
My whole thing is - I'd rather spend thousands of dollars on a house downpayment with my girlfriend than get married... and she's cool with it :D
It's crazy though, everyone I know my age has crazy student loan debt, so spending money on a wedding really doesn't make sense for any of them haha
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@dremachakmusic @surfermarley hi guys! i'm writing a steemit article that's also a memoir. it includes details about this post and the comments it inspired. let me know if it's ok to use your @ and refer to this article directly. i can send advance copies if you'd like to review before agreeing. if you don't want to be associated with the project, no problem, just let me know.
Hey absolutely!
Let me know if there's any other way I can contribute - If you need any music :D
i hadn't thought about music, but i love that you're offering. i will think on this 💭