From ORTHOREXIA to bULIMIA and back...IS THERE ANY CHANCE TO ESCAPE?!
Healthy lifestyle have become a new religion. It is now more than in trend to know about healthy food, “superfoods”, count calories and exhaust yourself in the gym.
Instagramm, facebook, twitter…photos of fitness girls are everywhere along with Major question of all times: “What I eat in a day”… Why the hell I have to know what you eat…. but anyway, that is now, i would like to tell you how does it all started in my case.. Healthy lifestyle have become a new religion. It is now more than in trend to know about healthy food, “superfoods”, count calories and exhaust yourself in the gym. Instagramm, facebook, twitter…photos of fitness girls are everywhere along with Major question of all times: “What I eat in a day”… Why the hell I have to know what you eat… ;
My story started ten years ago, I have just met my first husband and started to care about my weight and the way I looked… My friend told me about “Montignac diet”, the system, which shows how to eat and lose weight…
The Non-Diet The Montignac Method is not a diet in the traditional sense of the word. Dieting is limiting the amount of food we eat, something which is practically impossible to do on a long-term basis.
The Montignac Method is special. It proposes a free and balanced way of eating to stay fit. The idea is to change our eating habits: not eat less, just eat better by choosing our food wisely. High Blood Sugar For the past 25 years, Michel Montignac has contributed to proving that calories are not, despite common belief, the key factor in gaining weight.
He has, above all else, shown that obesity is related to high blood sugar, an organic disorder indirectly caused by certain types of foods.
Food which fits into the same category and has the amount of calories can cause a person to either gain or to lose weight (it depends). What this means is that calories are not what makes us gain weight. Michel Montignac was the first person ever to propose (1980s) the use of glycemic indexes for people wanting to lose weight. At the time, glycemic indexes, which had only been experienced in diabetes, were an unknown factor in relation to weight control. Montignac is the top expert in both the theoretical development and practical applications of the GI concept to reduce and prevent metabolic disorders: obesity, diabetes and heart disease. A Universally-Known Method Michel Montignac is a well-known specialist in the field of nutrition.
Perfect system as I thought! I must admit I lost 6 pounds and I loved it, but it made my life harder. As a student I had to eat at the university, but as you can imagine, the variety of foods were really limited that time..As a major strategy of the diet is to avoid eating together the carbohydrates and fats... Basically simplest explanation, you can eat pasta with tomatoes, but not pasta with chicken…you can eat chicken with tomatoes instead! Fruits separately…greens with everything! So, at the university I had to go with salad and some king of meat leaving the garnish aside…
I must admit, that we don’t have it in common to eat like this in our country, having simple meals like potatoes with burgers on lunch, so my diet was even harder to fallow visiting my friends or family houses… Travelling have become a nightmare, because I could not try traditional foods like pasta carbonara and pizza “quarto formaggi” in Italy, or goose pate with fresh baguette in France.. just eating my salad with meat or cheese.
The more I stayed on that system, the more obsessed Ii have became with all the details… I could not eat the salad at the university or in restaurant just because it had sugar in it ..OMG!!!! 2 grams of sugar was a total disaster to me! With time, I started to avoid carbohydras at all, getting thinner, by the way…
That is not the problem with the diet, it can be good i quess, but for me it started to become an obsession!
Then I had my first child..getting my shape and weight back in two months! Crazy…but I loved it!! It was about six years ago, when my obsession with what I eat have became a total disorder! One day eating out with my friends I had some chiabatta bread with goats cheese..perfect combination with wine..I enjoyed it! But coming home I felt so much quilt, that I eat something forbidden, wrong combination…that I just went and throw it all out into the toilet..
That is how my BULIMIA came out… Along with the total control of what I eat, the bulimia stroked me more and more often, years of ortorexia – totally crazy control of food, crazy about food being healthy and “right”, transformed into the horrible, uncontrolled eating feasts, that ended up in the toilet! For the society. You are the perfect, slim, healthy eating girl…and uncontrolled junk food eating bulimic at home..
Next 3 years was like the nightmare to me…Fighting with my demons was getting harder and harder..I had to ask for help and went to psychologist, just after my heart almost stopped and I ended up in the hospital with a body temperature 33,4 (nearly dead body)..
I think that the depression and hard relationship with my husband that ended up with a divorce could not make my fight any easier… My life had changed after divorce. Running away from abusive relationship, releasing my fears of no future, I started to work hard, putting all my strength into the new life, child and job. My bulimia went away! I met a man, that became my husband and had a child 9 months ago…
The more I look around, the more I find myself imperfect.. I tried to eat less meat, I tried to eat more carbohydrates…I read a lot of books about nutrition, health…and started to get afraid, that my obsession with what I eat is coming back!
So where I am right now?
Today I eat everything! no..i lie...I still dont eat junk food, market burgers, sweets and so on, but I do eat pasta with chicken if I want...I try to stay healthy not only physically but mentally as well!
I learn about food, nutrition and new recipes to try! hope to find balance in being healthy and not goin too deep in controlling what I eat!!!
P.S.
I want to go to Italy to try pizza with sausages
I want to go to Franse to try "Foie Gras" with fresh bread!
Without feeling any quilt! Enjoing life, enjoing food ..enjoing me as i am!
Thank you,
Margarita
I believe people giving too many fucks, I mean, if you truly big yeah maybe you could use a diet for a while but as you said all the gym and health trend is making me sick (I'm a lazy person), too much obsesion for being skinny and running n shits. Specifically you girls shouldn't worry that much about a few kgs + or -.
Now I do understand that, but when you are younger, and see o=all this fashion magazins, tv, commersials...you want to look like them! Now I am happy with how I look (even I weight more then fey years ago I thought to be perfect. Thank you for response!
I am only 20 (nearly 21) years old, I see this in the day-by-day but i dislike it a lot, glad you happy with yourself as you are :).
Thank you
Thank you for sharing your story!
Hope it can be useful!
Yes it will, I think a lot of people can relate to it!
Hello there dear. As someone who received the “orthorexia” label comments from family back when it started circulating in the news, I needed to read your story. I'm a bit busy always but I kept it open on my screen since yesterday to be sure I didn't lose you, I've just gotten to read it. I was thankful when I reached the end, to see you are eating in a more relaxed fashion these days, the stress alone from your journey no doubt could negate so much of the value of your healthy eating.
I can only speak from my own experience, while it must be a priority, eating in a healthy way for your body and for our planet shouldn't be stressful. Unfortunately in this current time we have let the demons run amok (see: Bill Hicks – Revelations – run don't walk for a good dose of life and laughter) and they have turned the world upside down. Twinkies and oreos, plastic cheese, and sick, diseased meat products are available all over for your convenience, but you have to, in many areas, seek out raw milk (the stuff that used to just be called milk) and the farmers have so many hoops to jump through to provide it. We cannot even pick up a pack of seeds from the store to grow our own gardens without looking into the company providing them, are they tied to the manipulators of life. We have to use our brains and be curious, wanting to root out the diseased parts of society for ourselves and make our own decision to use our money to vote them out of business, use our words to gently inform others of the layers of sick control that are woven through our world, and aim to be cheerful while wading through it all. I won't copy and paste it here, but one of my favorite poems is Desiderata by Max Ehrmann (there are changed versions out there – I have access to an old poster of it and the end line uses “cheerful”, not “careful” just to be clear).
Book recommendations:
Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
Last thing, and I'd suggest this to anyone, 5 minutes laying down on your back, focusing on your breath is powerful. When you inhale (through your nose) your belly should go out, when you exhale (through mouth or nose) you should try to pull your belly button to your spine (obviously impossible haha). Breath in for 3 seconds, hold for 3 seconds, exhale for 3 seconds, repeat. 5 minutes of this is so helpful, we don't breathe enough really, well some people probably do.
My love to you on your adventure in life. Strive to be happy.