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RE: The Crap I Put Up With (as a Woman in Crypto) Because You Say You're "Not a feminist"
If you want to start a fight about terms, go elsewhere.
You wrote an article about people calling themselves "feminists" and about what the term means. Neither of us started this fight, but your article is entirely about an existing fight over a term.
No, I wrote a response to a specific woman about her use of the phrase "I'm not a feminist" in an article about women in the technology industry that got a lot of attention. This response/post is about my experience in the tech industry, my work, and how the use of the phrase "not a feminist" impacts my work. I'm using a gendered term because I'm addressing a gendered issue. I'm speaking about my experience as a woman to another woman. I think this is very different than the difference between saying you're a gender equalist and a feminist.
As you say, what triggered your response was the use of the phrase "I'm not a feminist" from someone who, by all accounts, seems to fully support gender equality. The issue is whether "feminist" and "feminism" means gender equality or something else.
Perhaps my use of the term "entirely" is unfair. But certainly this was a major point of your article.
You can insist on the term "feminist" or "feminism", but you will alienate people who could be your allies in a fight for gender equality. You would be insisting on a gendered term to represent the fight for gender equality. There are some people, both men and women, who cannot accept that and so long as neither side gives in, the common cause will not advance.