To offend - the most meaningless action of the world! - part 2

I continue the article from last night if you miss it - https://steemit.com/life/@kalinka/to-offend-the-most-meaningless-action-of-the-world-201793t82139663z

In cases where the other has chosen to protect our own interests rather than serve us or in other words put ourselves and not us first, then we have no right to be angry.

Here again, the definition of selfishness - to insist the other to put your needs in front of your own! A surprisingly large number of people are angry because someone has chosen to put themselves and their own desires in the first place.

Also, a surprisingly large number of people are manipulated by partners, children and parents through fear of insult - it means that everyday things make their will and desire desirable because if they do not, someone will be offended!

Not a woman told me something like, "I do not want to move to another city at all, but my husband will be angry if we do not go!" "This Sunday is not a visit to my aunt, but she will be offended if I refuse! ".

And what about the heavy self-imposed convictions: "I do not love him, but he can not without me, I will ruin him if I leave him!"

Often the offense is the result of different beliefs about the world and life.

I will not forget how much my close friend offended because I asked her to buy theater tickets because she was "free". It turned out that the words "free" had hurt her very much.

After talking, it was clear that she had learned from her parents that a mature person should always do something useful and have a lot of engagements. She lived that way, and she was tired and busy.

My words sounded as if her employment and diligence were not noticed, and it seemed she was "doing nothing". I naturally remained in complete ignorance of what was happening inside her until she shared it with me. Just on the day when the tickets had to be bought, my schedule was very full and I said it without thinking.

In this situation, we have clarified things with it, and the story has remained in the past, but do you know how many such incidents remain as a bitterness inside us when we have no courage to think about them and talk openly to the other?

We think that by insult we give a lesson, but in fact we complicate things!

This is mostly because we seldom conduct a mature conversation about what has offended us and affected us. We rarely want, without blaming, just to clarify the situation. What do we do most often? We keep silent and do not talk to each other, sometimes for days.

There are people who do not talk for years! And when I ask what the reason is, they tell me they do not even remember! In other cases, we shake the door, turn around and leave. Here is a favorite piece of Castaneda for the insult:

"You are too serious about yourself," don Juan said slowly, "and you are perceived to be a devil important person, and that must change, so important that you think you have the right to get angry at all, so important, that you think you can afford to turn around and leave when the circumstances do not get the way you want it You probably think that you are demonstrating the power of your character but that's crap You are weak and haughty and self-loving type! "

Forgiveness is not a manifestation of dignity and force of character because it does not lead to anything positive.

The injury is escaped from the problem, stubbornness and stubbornness, also selfishness! I'm not saying that we do not recognize our feelings when they hurt or affect us. On the contrary, it is important to recognize them both before and before the other.

The problem is that we react in a state of affection, starting from our own emotional wounds, that we do not think soberly and do not speak openly. If we tend to look at ourselves and then talk, without hurrying to condemn and to blame, our relationship would be quite different!

Here are some facts about the offense, which may well deny you the habit of insulting:

• Injury reduces the amount of our sexual energy. The more insults we carry in ourselves, the more unattractive we are for the other sex!

• The longer we offend, the worse. The harassed for years insult grows into a physical illness - very likely malignant! So instead of insulting and keeping silent on penalties, better quarrel and then get better.

• The more perceptive a person is, and the more he accepts things, the greater his sense of inferiority, and his self-esteem is very low! The broad-minded man is touched more difficult and forgives more easily - he knows that the world is not spinning around him.

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See you soon - Kalinka

photo: pixabay.com