Sorry for your loss, and at the same time, isn't it quite wonderful how deep we are able to go when these upsetting experiences in life push us there. I believe that many religions (or indoctrinations) restrict us from exploring the greater truths. Eastern culture is quite different.
Thank you so much @katieskills .. I agree, the restrictions of certain beliefs ingrained into people kinda just keep them feeling safe throughout life I guess. But you're right it's wonderful to experience great awakenings out of darkness!