What Happened To MARRIAGE?

in #life9 years ago

It is a well-known fact that marriage is a big commitment that you need to make in life, in case you want to experience the marital bliss. It is this commitment that often intimidates the people, in particular with the rising number of divorce cases all around the world. There are so many young couples today, who avoid the bond of marriage, but continue with their love relationship by staying together in the same apartment.
Cultural transformation is to be blamed.

Our present day culture also plays a very significant role in the deterioration of marriages taking place. A total transformation is sexual culture, divorce, feminism and other cultural shifts are to be blamed for the change in the mindsets of people. Marriage was once considered as an aspirational goal, but today, it is being witnessed more like a prison in the minds of the couples. More and more people across the world are alienated from marriage.

Sex is available so easily

In the olden days, marriage gave the certification to a couple for physical intimacy or sexual relationship. Today, the scenario is entirely different. Sex is available so easily, as couples are staying together years after years without getting married. Thus, when sex is available so easily without any level of commitment, they don’t bother going into the complicacy of marriage. In fact, even the most conservative cultures, that have struck to the concept of arranged marriage, have adopted a more liberal approach.

Are the couples brainwashed with the idea of the wedding?

Several couples are brainwashed with the idea, that marriage will end up in divorce. The statistics say that in the US half of the marriages end in divorce as per the reports of CDC statistics. This is completely not the truth, as the statistics are heavily influenced by the age of the divorced couples. It has been found that people who rush into getting married before the age of 20 years or so have 60% more chance of the marriage ending in divorce.

It is the tender age when maturity level is very low, and the people involved in the commitment of the marriage are also not settled in their lives. They have not established and didn't have an identity in the society to earn money. This very level of commitment gets a better result if you wait until the age of 25 years and more and then plan to get married. There is a good chance that the marriage will be a success without many issues.

Marriage is something you have to work at, And many people do not have what it takes these days. It's too easy to "break up" and replace them with someone else that has what you want, Over trying to work out the problems you are having.

Living In Utah And Marriage

As someone who lives in Utah, Marriage is an interesting subject.
We have the lowest marriage rate in all of the United States.
The Median age for women is: 23.5
The Median age for Men Is: 25.6

We are known for being the "Mormon" state. While I"m not Mormon, The religion influences just about everything that we do!

Mormon or LDS, Encourages their members to marry as young as possible, And to start having kids... Lots and lots of kids.
That keeps our marriage age really young, I feel like as far as marriage goes in the United States. While it goes down for everyone else. I see marriage being something that stays put in Utah, It will be interesting to see in the future. If things stay the same in Utah, but the age continues to rise for other states, We will be able to make a direct comparison from Utah and other countries on How the Marriage Or lack of marriage is affecting us as a whole.

  • What about parents who aren't married?
  • If a marriage doesn't happen anymore, will people become more insecure with trusting their partner?
  • If staying with one person your whole life, No longer applies. Will we see a more rapid spread of diseases?
  • Will we see more people choose to live alone or with friends instead of a partner?
  • Will we see future tax breaks for singles instead of married couples?

Thank you unsplash for the great photos

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What Happened To MARRIAGE?

DIVORCE happened...

Hahha So true!

you are still not answering why you feel justified to go and flag every post i ever made and then to spend the rest of the night instantly flagging anything elese i posted. all because on you post "is online dating good for scocity?" where i commeted "its sad and depressing imo" you then went to my page and flagged all my posts? why? how was your actions that made me start spamming you for answers not trolling? you took my rating down from 37 to 2. why was that ok in your eyes?

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why are you downvoting anything I post? why wont you answer any of the questions I have asked on why you flagg anything I post! D:<

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why are you downvoting anything I post? why wont you answer any of the questions I have asked on why you flagg anything I post! D:<

lovely post yet again thank you for all your hard work in making meaningful content :)

No problem :) I Just love this place! I can't get enough hehe.

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why are you downvoting anything I post? why wont you answer any of the questions I have asked on why you flagg anything I post! D:<

I've decided I'm only going to get married when I've decided to give up SEX!!!

Hahaha So funny!

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why are you downvoting anything I post? why wont you answer any of the questions I have asked on why you flagg anything I post! D:<

Marriage will die out eventually.
The way i view marriage is as a tradition that has stuck with us since the old days, a time when the woman stayed and tended to the home and children while the man was out working/hunting.
It was sort of a contract deal, i do this for you and bear your child, and you support us so we don't die of starvation, get killed by wildlife or murdered by pillaging bandits.

I personally see no good reason to keep marriage in today's society. We don't need such a contract anymore, equality between the sexes has stabilized the financial income in a household and technology has removed our fear of wildlife.
We still got that murderous bandit problem, but that won't go away.

Agreed! But I do see cons to not having marriages around.

What cons do you see? I am honestly interested as i can see none, a vow of trust and love is a great thing to show. But there are other ways to show love and trust that doesn't involve a contract if you catch my drift.

Mostly just if boyfriend/girlfriends have kids, It's easier to walk away, Where as a marriage holds the person together. That is pretty much it. I do think having a "wedding" or a "party " is also good for the relationship, So maybe couples should throw a big party with the families to help celebrating their relationship.

I agree with you that a celebration of the relationship is in order, at least when new life is getting ready to show it's face. But my thoughts are that marriage or not, it's still easy to walk away.
I'll take my family as an example: My father has 2 brothers and 2 sisters. Every one of them has one or more children. One of my uncles is still married to his original spouse. The others are divorced and now with another partner, so the divorce rate in my example equals 75%.
This is not a special case, the divorce ratio in my country (Norway) is quite high. But fewer and fewer are getting married.

I feel like In Norway it may be easier to separate than in the U.S. I'm not saying the U.S. Has good laws on that. But you'd think if it's easy to divorce in Norway, People would be more whiling to take that risk, So maybe like you said it doesn't seem like a necessary thing anymore.

you are still not answering why you feel justified to go and flag every post i ever made and then to spend the rest of the night instantly flagging anything elese i posted. all because on your post "is online dating good for scocity?" where i commeted "its sad and depressing imo" you then went to my page and flagged all my posts? why? how was your actions that made me start spamming you for answers not trolling? you took my rating down from 37 to 2. why was that ok in your eyes?

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why are you downvoting anything I post? why wont you answer any of the questions I have asked on why you flagg anything I post! D:<

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why are you downvoting anything I post? why wont you answer any of the questions I have asked on why you flagg anything I post! D:<

Marriage has become non-important as more people are becoming promiscuous and cheating their partners non-stop. Most people cannot commit to a long term serious relationship.

Also males are very discouraged because divorce laws steal everything from males, so they would rather not marry than to lose their hard savings.

I agree!
They need to make things more equal for men.
Also people need to learn how to have long term relationships, It seems silly to jump from relationship to relationship

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why are you downvoting anything I post? why wont you answer any of the questions I have asked on why you flagg anything I post! D:<

In North America, assets are split fairly in most cases since BOTH men and women tend to have had careers and have built up their own savings over the years. Newsflash @freddy008: Men are not the only ones with savings, with retirement funds, with real estate. As a former legal secretary I can tell you that men were more prone to hiding their assets in a court case, and funny enough, during divorce proceedings, they didn't seem to value their wives roles' at home as mothers and home-keepers even though in the majority of instances the wife had left her career to raise the kids due to the husband's insistence and or encouragement. Huh, imagine that. Furthermore, studies have proven--and you can go online to check this out--that divorced men are able to maintain or improve their standard of living after a divorce while the standard of living for a divorced woman and her children drops.
The reason marriage might be losing favour is that more women are realizing the importance of ensuring their own emotional and financial security--and that marrying the wrong man will do more damage to your long-term happiness and financial security than pretty much anything else in your life.

Yes but the court takes a lot of money. If we talk about a long case with poorer people the court may take away your home just to pay the court costs, because they summon all kinds of physchologists to examine the parents if there was a suspicion of abuse in the family ,and it easily drains all your savings by the time the divorce is over.

Not to mention the trauma that children are exposed too when their parents divorce, if the divorce takes months, and every time the kids are dragged there. It is a very bad thing to do to children.

First of all Kaylin I got to comment you for the topics you choice...this is one of my favorite topic as well...I like the way you write...From my point of view...marriage is important in a person's life...and especially when you have kids...it is very important for parents to stay connected with the bond of marriage to influence their kids...and to see for an men/women who can't live with one can never be satisfied with any...why would you want to put one's life in jeopardy to be with another or more than one...

I agree! It really scares me when I see boyfriends/girlfriends having kids but marriage isn't involved. I like that contract family unit because they are more likely to stay together.

I am married 26 years and still the passion the longing for one another is within me and my husband. Love grow as years goes. The first few years are to know one another...rest after that are to deal with the habits.

I love that! It's so beautiful! I'm glad that your love keeps growing.

why are you downvoting anything I post? why wont you answer any of the questions I have asked on why you flagg anything I post! D:<

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why are you downvoting anything I post? why wont you answer any of the questions I have asked on why you flagg anything I post! D:<

I didn't get married until 30, which in some places is considered late. I didn't wait because I had strong feelings for or against it--I was just busy!

I think the rising age is due, in part, to women becoming more successful. We don't need to get married to leave our parents house anymore.

Hhaha! Here in Utah it's definetly late. If you aren't married by like 21, People start to think something is wrong with you.

That is a good mindset, And I agree with you, Women being more successful makes it easier for us to wait. We have our own income and we can be free to do what we want.

It seems you have a stalker :)

I do now LOL!
Stalkers will be ignored, They aren't worth my time, Haha.

you are still not answering why you feel justified to go and flag every post i ever made and then to spend the rest of the night instantly flagging anything elese i posted. all because on your post "is online dating good for scocity?" where i commeted "its sad and depressing imo" you then went to my page and flagged all my posts? why? how was your actions that made me start spamming you for answers not trolling? you took my rating down from 37 to 2. why was that ok in your eyes?

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why are you downvoting anything I post? why wont you answer any of the questions I have asked on why you flagg anything I post! D:<

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no this is in respone of her stalking me and downvoting anything I post and not saying why when I keep asking. took my score from 37 to this and this is only my 3rd day. it is pointless for me to post because my rating is so low and she will just down vote it instantly after I post something. I just want to know why. :/

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why are you downvoting anything I post? why wont you answer any of the questions I have asked on why you flagg anything I post! D:<

why are you downvoting anything I post? why wont you answer any of the questions I have asked on why you flagg anything I post! D:<

@kaylinart @nameless has been reported

THANK YOU!
He is spamming everything

you are still not answering why you feel justified to go and flag every post i ever made and then to spend the rest of the night instantly flagging anything elese i posted. all because on your post "is online dating good for scocity?" where i commeted "its sad and depressing imo" you then went to my page and flagged all my posts? why? how was your actions that made me start spamming you for answers not trolling? you took my rating down from 37 to 2. why was that ok in your eyes?

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yes because you did the same to me with dowvoting anything I have posted. you still will not respond to why you are going out of your way to down vote all my posts befor I started flagging and spamming you. why am I the one in the wrong when you took my rating from 37 to 6 in a matter of hours because I commented on your post about how I thought online dating was sad and depressing?

why are you downvoting anything I post? why wont you answer any of the questions I have asked on why you flagg anything I post! D:<

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I am in a 5 year relationship with my girlfriend which i usually call her my wife not girlfriend because i fail to see the difference? But my stance has always been that we would never get married as long as marriage would involve a third party member into our relationship, under the name of Government! If you don't mind involving Government into your relationship... marriage is for you! another nice topic... Cheers

Thank you.
I was in a five year relationship too, Have you discussed this with her? How does she feel about it? I don't like the government being involved in my relationships either. But many women hold a strong stance TOWARDS marriage. I think it's something you need to ensure is clear with her.

My relationship got ugly, Because I expected to get married, And he made it seem like he wanted to get married too. But I later found out He wasn't even thinking about it. Our relationship started to fall apart quite rapidly. and it no longer exists.
Many women will be really messed up emotionally if they are in a long term relationship that goes no where. I hope she knows your intentions. Finding out his intentions after five years crushed me. I think that should be a more open topic.

Absolutely honesty has always been very important to me, to a fault... She gave up telling me "you're too honest" a long time ago. I have always been a person who spoke their mind no matter how unpopular. How do you expect to be in a healthy relationship if you aren't honest with not only your partner but yourself! I am curious why marriage was so important to you (were you not happy regardless?) but I understand how one could be crushed if their relationship isn't what they thought it was. Breakups are never fun but life is short and move on best you can :) which I believe you have! just realized you asked how she felt... she is happy with me but parents push marriage but are cluing in that won't ever happen! Cheers

I'm glad you are like that! It helps a lot.
Marriage is important to me, because of the stability. I don't like the thought that he can just walk away at any moment, If we live together and I"m paying my half of the bills, Him walking away could cause my ability to pay those bills to crash, With his other half. I was happy, But at the same time, I was somewhat unhappy because I felt he wasn't taking the relationship seriously enough.
But I feel like now, My reasons for wanting a marriage were somewhat silly. But it's a feeling I cant shake off. Like it's embedded in my brain that it needs to happen at some point. I'm perfectly capable and independent. But I feel like if marriage becomes "impossible" with the person I'm with, Then I'm whiling to stop dating all together. I like the thought of my "dating around" life to be over. And to stick to one person, It saves time that way.

Yep personal choice. I think it is healthy to date around until you feel ready for commitment or think you found the "person". except marriage doesn't have to be the only form of commitment, we have a vocal agreement in our case. Cheers

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why are you downvoting anything I post? why wont you answer any of the questions I have asked on why you flagg anything I post! D:<

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why are you downvoting anything I post? why wont you answer any of the questions I have asked on why you flagg anything I post! D:<

@lecrazycanuckeh
I love the way you and your girlfriend decided to establish your relationship! I'm glad it's working for you. THe government definitely needs to stay out of our business.

you are still not answering why you feel justified to go and flag every post i ever made and then to spend the rest of the night instantly flagging anything elese i posted. all because on your post "is online dating good for scocity?" where i commeted "its sad and depressing imo" you then went to my page and flagged all my posts? why? how was your actions that made me start spamming you for answers not trolling? you took my rating down from 37 to 2. why was that ok in your eyes?

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