The Severely Flawed Foster Care System in America.

---

I don't write this blog from a place of no personal experience. I was in the foster care system briefly as a child.

---

My time in the foster care system was brief but somehow I ended up in 4 different homes, each one worse than the last. My final foster home was so bad my mom was able to get their license taken away. There is irony here because my mom was such a unfit mother herself but she didn't have to get evaluated to give birth. There should be higher standards for those trying to get a foster care license.

At worst these foster homes are horridly abusive but there is also many foster parents that neglect their children in order to profit from the money they are given to care for them. The final home I was in subjected me to emotional abuse as well as neglect. At the end of every week our foster mother would lock the foster kids in a room and give up hoagies filled with the weeks leftovers with peanut butter spread on it while she took her biological children out to eat. She also lied to us and told us our mom wasn't calling while ignoring her calls.

Foster parents that don't consider the difficulties these children face.

Of course there are some foster parents that mean well but fall short. The fact is many foster kids either come from highly abusive homes or they never had a home. Some lived in group homes where they were bullied. Many came from really rough neighborhoods. Many of them never knew love from a caretaker. You can't expect to take in kids like this without facing very real challenges. These kids will be guarded, fussy, difficult. They will try to push the parents away even if they mean well. They have probably been handed around so many times that it is what they expect.

In order to be a good parent to these kids a person would have to be incredibly patient. It would also be helpful to study some child psychology if you know you are taking in a child who has been abused and may have mental health issues. Finding counseling outside of the system and group therapy could also be life-changing. Many states offer free mental health services if you do some digging. Most foster parents don't go out of their way to offer help beyond what the system gives them but I think it would make a big difference if they did.

And what about when these kids age out of the system?

Well, the sad fact is that many of these kids have no support and no idea how to integrate into society. They are often booted out the door the second they turn eighteen. Then they are on the street with no life skills and probably with minimal education. In fact, over 30% of homeless people were once in the foster care system. This is a real problem. A large percentage of foster kids spend most of their life in group homes. They never even have the support of a family. Imagine being tossed onto the street at 18 after living a life with no family?

It is hard for foster kids to get help.

Due to all the different levels of people and all the red tape it is often very hard for a foster kid to navigate the system in order to express their concerns. As a result of this system many of the kids never get their needs met. This would be especially hard if you are in an abusive home. My foster parents didn't let us use the phone. Lied about us getting calls. It was made very hard for us to express anything wrong. We didn't come forward until after we were released. Imagine how bad things could turn if the foster parents found out you were trying to get them in trouble?

What can I do?

Well, one way to help would be to become a foster parent. If you have the room, time, and mental ability to hand problem children and offer them a loving home that could change a kids life.

Also you can volunteer to be a CASA volunteer. You can find out more information about that here:
http://www.casaforchildren.org/site/c.mtJSJ7MPIsE/b.5301309/k.9D58/Volunteering.htm

You can also volunteer for or donate to this charity for foster kids:
https://www.togetherwerise.org/

Also if you are in a position where you hire people and you get someone applying who aged out of foster care and has no experience, consider giving them a shot.