Love in Thailand

Love is a topic that has probably been written about more than anything else that moves people. There is also a lot of printed paper on Thai Farang love relationships and even more on the internet. However, it is mostly reported on negative experiences that Farang had in such a relationship. Let me try to analyze the root cause of such negative experiences. A major reason for these problems is the different view of what is meant by love.

The difficulties arise above all because each person sees the matter differently according to his mentality, but also depending on the circumstances of life and the culture in which he grew up. This is particularly important when the partners come from such different milieus as a farang and a Thai woman.

Probably every man who lives with a Thai woman, sometimes has the impression of a certain cold feeling in his wife and have asked himself the question ?? she really really loves me at all ??? It should be said that Thais are much more averse to showing what we see as a sign of loving affection, such as hugs, kisses, and so on. Especially in the presence of other people, the woman - even if she is married ?? Inhibitions have to send a loving gesture to her husband. Thais also have little sense of gifts that are meant to express loving attention, such as a nice bouquet of flowers. For them, only the material value, or the gold weight counts. All this makes the farang think that only rational considerations have persuaded the woman to live with him, which usually does not put him so wrong.

Even if your own ego does not allow you to admit it to yourself, you can always assume that a Thai woman does not choose a man for his beauty, or even for his sexual potential, but above all for how she determines his financial capacity estimates. The fact that she sometimes misjudges and can not judge that behind a guy who performs here on vacation like a millionaire, in fact, a poor dog is, is then a major reason that the connection sooner or later in the breaks goes.

It's true that every Thai who ties to a farang hopes to have a better life. However, many are so disappointed with the Thai men that they try a farang in the hope of having to endure less macho attitudes.

Most of these women just want to lead a quiet, normal life and dream in their naivety of the good farang that supplies them and their family. Such a marriage, even if you have to leave the family with an unloved man for it, is still better than to ditch in a village in Isaan, where it is not enough to live in front and back. Europe is considered a dreamland where to make money, and a European husband can turn a Thai girl from country to princess when he transports her from her miserable environment to a three-room flat in Germany.

But even with a nice man, the strange environment, the unfamiliar climate and food, the missing friends and the loneliness of a new apartment, while the man is working all day long, hard to bear. Women, who act in their usual milieu quite viable and independent, are here in our highly bred western world once pretty helpless. They come into a totally foreign country and among strangers, whose behavior in their view is unusual, if not incomprehensible. The Farang use toilet paper instead of water, go for a walk without a destination, bring flowers when they visit someone and eat with a knife and fork instead of a spoon and fork.

Above all, however, these women have a problem understanding the typical German feeling and thinking. They just can not easily abandon their innate or educated Thai mindset. The cultural differences between Farang and Thais are so great that love is not enough to permanently bridge this abyss. This includes u.a. also understanding that the partner has completely different thought patterns and values. With each partner, the human being will inevitably bring their fate, feelings and past traumas into the house and will then inevitably be confronted with it at some point. Love and sexual attraction sooner or later become dull, and if there is nothing else, especially mutual trust and a sense of belonging together, then the dilemma is inevitable.

Feeling is a nice thing, but a Westerner understands it as something completely different from a Thai. With whom are they ?? although it is never presented offensive? fairly tightly bound to material accompaniments. And at the latest after this discovery, the headless Farang becomes sober again.

What is sometimes said in the forums about the money-hungry Thai women may be true in many cases. Thais have a different relationship to money than we Farang. Money is there to spend on things that Sanuk brings, and it would be naive to think that just because she married a farang, the Thai woman now thinks about keeping his money together. It is then up to the man to control the matter, and when it gets out of hand (for example, due to the Thai-usual gambling addiction) to put a stop to it.

Hardly understandable for the Farang is the desire of his wife to send money to her relatives in faraway Thailand. Parental home, school and Buddha's teachings have taught the girl from an early age that she has to care for her parents and siblings. The man has taken on this moral obligation together with her. When we age Farang, we get our pension. And if someone has nothing left, the welfare office helps him. Thais, however, know no old-age insurance, the offspring must the ?? pension ?? for the old. The family, so to speak, takes over the part that the insurance companies take over from us. Anyone who gets married in such a family automatically becomes part of this system. Who denies the payment and thus forces his wife out of this? Social system ?? Getting out without paying back to her family what she owe her should provoke strong feelings of guilt in her, bring her into a perennial, gnawing conflict of conscience, thus risking the early break of the relationship.

The attachment to her family has a higher priority for his wife than the love for her husband. Whether it tastes good or not is completely irrelevant. It's pointless to say that he married only his wife and not her entire clan. When he tries to make that clear to her, it makes him seem uncomprehending and careless in her eyes. Her reaction will often be that she just lets down the curtain and does not open her mouth. This is often the case with a disapproving word or a gesture that makes her feel offended. The man has a hard time coping with the rigid silence that often takes the place of the hot-headed argument of a Thai woman. But he should not try to find out with probing questions what is the cause of their stubbornness, or overload them with allegations. After a while, she becomes bored herself, and she'll open her mouth again, as if nothing had happened.

There may be cases where macho types have tamed their Thai wife so far that she subordinates (at least evidently). The more common case, however, is that in Germany, too, the woman tries to enforce the pattern that is familiar to her at home, namely that in the family in general women have the scepter in their hands or at least the last word. Anyone who travels in the Thai milieu in Germany, knows some cases where the men let themselves be led by the nose of their Thai wife like dancing bears. It is a fact that poorly-fortified types often tend to gain a pliant Asian kitten, as is commonly believed, and then have little to counterbalance the concentrated energy of the woman.

Sources: 123RF.com, schinke.net, tenor, thai food blog, Khaosod English, youtube.com, geezersabroad, robobee.eu, thailand for farang