The Art of Assertiveness: How to Stand Up for Yourself and Communicate Effectively

Assertiveness is an art. It's about learning how to get what you want, without being so aggressive as to scare away your potential clients.


While you don't need to be a Jedi Master of communication to have effective interactions, you need to be assertive. By following the steps I outline below, you'll be more confident and persuasive in communicating effectively with everyone around you.

STEP 1: Get Your Point Across without Upsetting Others

There are two key points to remember in order to communicate effectively. The first one is to make sure your listener understands what you're saying. The second is to make sure the listener has a way to agree with you.

A great rule of thumb is to think about how your listener would feel if you weren't present. Would you still agree with your point if someone had been standing behind you? If not, that's where the problem lies.

STEP 2: Get Back into the Frame of Mind of the Person You Are Communicating With

The second step to communicating effectively is to get back into the frame of mind of the person you are speaking to. This means taking the time to remember how they are feeling. If you remember that they may be tired or stressed, you will be less likely to say something that will upset them.

STEP 3: Identify Your Audience, and Choose the Right Words

The third step is to identify your audience, and then choose the right words. A great way to do this is to think about how the person you are speaking with feels about certain words. This is called reverse psychology. For example, if someone says, "I hate you!" you know they are upset.

STEP 4: Use Humor, Not Humiliation

While humor can be used effectively, the main goal here is to be friendly and helpful. Humor can be tricky, and while some people really do appreciate it, there are many others who think it's insulting.

If you decide to use humor, be careful with timing. People appreciate funny things said when they least expect it. Be careful if the person you are speaking with is really angry or upset. Try not to say something that will only be funny to you, but be careful not to make the situation worse.

STEP 5: Keep Your Language Simple, and Don't Make Things Too Complicated

The last step is to keep things simple, and don't make it too complicated. This means making sure you say things in a way that people can understand, and don't take longer than necessary.

Remember that it's much easier to move forward when people know what to expect. They'll be less likely to misunderstand you, and they won't have to ask follow-up questions.

Thanks for reading! If you have any questions, feel free to reach out via this link.