Midget Gems
Today we went to the Doctor's. Don't worry! No great drama, a six-week examination for the little boom and the flu vaccination for the little lady.
We went into the surgery and checked in with the ever grumpy Doctor's receptionist. She scowled fiercely at us as we approached the desk.
Can ayelp yoo?
She strangely piped through her nose.
Yes indeed dear lady! A flu vaccination for numero uno babben and a six-week exam for this little terror here, numero dos!!
I held up little boom like a glove puppet and waved him at her. I was being as jolly and as convivial as I could be. When you face these types of demonic doctors receptionists it's like having an enchanted sword. They just can't seem to process humour.
Ayoo all going in togethur?
Piped the receptionist disapprovingly. She was an odd sort. Possibly odder than your normal Doctor's receptionist breed. She looked kinda normal, in her forties with short dark brown hair but when she spoke it was like watching a Jim Henson puppet gasp for air underwater.
She is taking the little lady and I the little man! Unless, of course, perhaps you would like to watch the little uns? Me and the missus could nick out to the pub for a couple of shandies! Ho ho ho!
She grunted like a buffalo beset by biting flies and waved at us to take a seat.
It wasn't long before the Doctor called us in. I went in with little boom and the good lady waited outside with the little lady for the other appointment. The doctor was a nice reassuring lady and took the little lad off me to inspect on a big white table.
She took various measurements and occasionally commented nonsense things to me to which in response I would nod wisely.
Toward the end she asked me to remove the little fellers nappy. Her being a Doctor, I happily obliged.
The Doctor leaned over his little naked form and held one of his testicles between forefinger and thumb.
Whoah, steady on.
I said somewhat uncertainly.
It's alright, it's part of the examination.
She said in an attempt to reassure me. She then discarded that testicle and picked up the other. She gently bounced it up and down a couple of times with her forefinger like she was tickling a cats chin.
Then she counted his magic beans out loud.
One and Two!
She looked at me and beamed.
Aye, well done. You can count to two.
I thought ungraciously.
Nothing wrong there then.
She marveled in the way of a woman who hasn't been beset by much ball'age in life.
Of course not. The fellow will be knocking planes out of the sky with them when he is a teenager.
I was a little defensive. The ball fingering bastard was lucky I wasn't getting my own ham cannon out and letting loose.
We finished up and headed out. The good lady was at the receptionist's desk making some random appointment. I made my way over.
Everything ok Daddy bear?
The good lady and the receptionist looked at me.
Oh yes, he has two balls. All is well. Come, we are leaving.
I headed for the exit and took the little boom from the indignities of that ball counting hell.
Two balls is good mate. It's much better than one ball, that's really bad and it's a lot better than three balls. Three balls is just far too many balls. :) Or maybe it's a good thing to have three balls, that way if anything happens to one ball, you'll still have two balls left, rather than just the one ball which, like I said is pretty bad. :)
Nah, I think two balls is just the right amount of balls mate. You've won a watch there. :)
Strange folk, those doctors. They actually have a lower life expectancy than the rest of us, believe it or not. :)
Oh they do. I read that. It's all the drinking and the smoking. They are nuts for it!!
I am glad there are two. But given that I change his nappy a million times a day she could have just asked ;0)
:)
I saw no mention of the junkie hordes outside the Doctors Surgery. I thought it was methadone Monday?? Is it a bank-holiday?? Is it like a giro where if it's a bank holiday you get double dose the week before???
I went too far. I should delete this comment. :)
Apparently the good attention at the reception is bad in all the world, here you have to go to sacra turn with boxing protectors.
How good that the little Boom is all right "The guy will be shooting down planes from heaven when he is a teenager" very good definition could not have found a better one.
thank you very much dear friend @meesterboom for another fun day
I wish you a great week
I am glad someone liked that line. I was quite proud of it myself :) Cheers @jlufer! Have a great night!
"We went into the surgery and checked in with the ever grumpy Doctor's receptionist. She scowled fiercely at us as we approached the desk."
Where did all the friendly receptionists go?
I remember the day once when the doctor's receptionist was a friendly thing. Now it seems so long ago!! Where did they go? Or is this 21st century living?
Les bijoux de famille
Hehe, I did run a translate on that just to make sure my pidgeon French had gotten it right :0)
There is even an entry in the French and the English Wikipedias:
https://fr.wiktionary.org/wiki/bijoux_de_famille
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bijoux_de_famille
That is splendid. It is only fitting that entries should be made for such important things!
Man that breed of receptionists, waitresses, cashiererrrs (is what a word), customer services ppl just gets too much on my nervesss. If you're not a people's person, don't do this job.
Today was gonna slap the shit out of one cashier girl, when i counted to 10, and then to 100, and then just threw it behind my back and headed home without a murder on my palms.
I agree entirely. I have often said... If you hate people so much then why work in a job where you are gonna have to deal with them every single day!
Glad you didnt have the murder on ya :OD
Our new shop is next to my doctors rooms, and in the premises vacated by a retired doctor. I'll just say close enough and be the evil one.
That's is very close, it will be running off on you :0)
That is one part of the medical I will never forget. As a healthy 16-year-old, to have a person grasp both, apply a little downward pressure and then be asked to cough.
I had the fastest cough you could imagine, he didn't get the time to count.
Jings man, I am glad I have never had that one. At least not that I remember, I might have blocked it out :0)
It happened from there on in most years when we had to go to medical to prove we were still alive. Fortunately, we had all male doctors,
Since retiring from the services that part has been forgotten, thank goodness.
I think it was to check for a hernia, but I could be very wrong.
It's a good way to check that you were alive that's for sure. I think that even a corpse might flinch right enough hehe
What happened with the flu shot? I feel like that might involve fear and crying and possibly fainting
Hehe, when they are that young it's a doddle. She just got some stuff squirted up her nose. Which I am awfully glad about!
What is wrong with the receptionist? Why is she behaving like in this unusual manner?
Doctors receptionists here are quite frankly an awkward bunch! They are quite unfriendly.
lol...most times, not always though
Hehe, it's true everywhere that exception ;0)
sure
In this matter, we Indians are very lucky. They treat us quite well and we feel like at home really. Welcoming is in our blood here.
Wow, you would be horrified at their manner. Everywhere else people are friendly and welcoming but not in the doctor's surgery!
I don't know... I got very nervous when I took my boy for such an examination and just told the lady doctor to leave the kid's equipment alone....doctors here have some funny ideas about dealing with the most precious parts a man has...
It did take me aback I must say. It was patently obvious he had two and they were both there. Without the cupping!!