Self-Empowerment 101: Shift from Pity to Possibility

I can't help it. I feel so blessed. And I'm not going to feel bad about my life being awesome! And I scream it from the rooftops! Not too long ago I didn't share my positive emotions because it would make others feel bad.

No more. 

In western society there is this culture of constant negative thinking and nagging. A bunch of naggers, if you will. And people usually connect through pity.

"How are you doing?" - "Oh, I feel so tired, so much work to do" - "Oh, I'm so sorry for you. I'm also under a lot of stress. My boss is a such a drag, he keeps on forcing me to do extra hours". 

Sounds familiar? I wouldn't be surprised.

It's an epidemic of victimhood and self-pity. Most of the people are not familiar with the simple truth that energy flows where attention goes. If you focus on the supposed negative aspects of your life, guess what will increase? 

I see pessimistic, stressed faces all over the place. And I'm living nota bene in the country with the highest level of wealth! Another reason why not to strive for wealth alone. Better train your mind in order to enhance your quality of life and the lives of the people around you.

The following might seem obvious. But most of the times it's not about a lack of knowledge, but about a lack of applied knowledge. In other words: it's common sense, but not common practice. So here's a tool:

Whenever you feel like you're trapped in a bad situation you have three options that will result in an improvement:

1. Try to change the situation.

2. If it doesn't work, remove yourself from the situation.

3. If neither the first nor the second proposal seems to be an option, accept the situation the way it is. Zen-like with all of its aspects and consequences that follow. 

I already hear the rejection of all of the options. "I can't!" Then I would reply: "What possibilities have you explored? Have you really thought of all possible steps to change the situation? Have you really thought of all possible steps to remove yourself from the situation? Have you for only one week stopped to complain and consciously accepted the situation the way it is? It might not be so bad after all".

The default victimhood mentality state instantaneously rejects the possibility of change because most of us have been conditioned to use our minds in this way. I understand. I have been there. Here's a another simple trick to use your mind in a constructive way and to escape the realm of limitations into a world of power and possibilities:

Start with how. Ask: How can I make this possible?

Instead of focussing on all the possible excuses to avoid change and responsibility, you train your mind to actively look for solutions.

How can I change the situation I'm in?

How can I remove myself from this situation?

How can I accept this situation completely?

Realize that you have it all in your hands. However this realization is a giant leap for most of the people. It means you have to assume responsibility for your actions and therefore for the results too. No more complaining, no more blaming others. And here I observe one of the most fascinating traits in human behavior. The phenomenon of the habit. We tend to do what we've always done. Regardless of the consequences. You may know that you're damaging yourself, but you keep on doing it. Yes, I'm talking to you, my regretful cigarette-smoking friends. Better the devil you know than the devil you don't as it seems.

To create new habits can be a drag. But it's sooooo worth it! You can do it! :D