I read this and I wondered if your queen knows about your feelings, your reproaches, anguish, regrets? If you've shown her what you write? Because any human being with a heart in his chest is moved by what is written here. If you have ever been afraid to show a picture or to show your face, here in these lines you have shown your soul. There are dual and mixed feelings about what you did, but who am I to sit on your shoulder and judge you. Besides, you have enough to wake up again and again and find that the film has not advanced and has remained at the worst part. As for your celibacy, maybe this quarantine will continue and you will achieve your goal. Hahaha. Seriously, maybe you should practice your approach. A big hug and take care of yourself, @rok-sivante!
I was quite open and honest all along, clearly expressing my regrets, apologies, and the rest.
This in particular, no. We haven't been in too much contact lately. While we were together, typically yes. I know she's read some of my stuff since, though we're not at a point where me sending her anything seems at all helpful.
lol. Having been in hermit mode anyways, the quarantine really makes no difference. And it's not a goal so much as a conscious choice. I'm open to unforeseen possibilities, though I feel it's likely going to be a long time before I'm ready to even think about any sort of intimacy again.
(Heard once it takes twice as long as a relationship lasted to get over it. By that math, I've got about 15 years to go and won't be ready until over 50... seems both horribly discouraging and perfectly reasonable at the same time. lol.)
I appreciate this comment. I did get triggered by your other one on Hive and nearly reacted by replacing the whole post with the Men In Black again. lol. Feeling better after this one. 💖
Yeah, I could tell by your comment on Hive! I almost cried reading it. I once told you that I'm clumsy with words. Believe it or not, I've lived a relationship almost like yours, so it's not hard for me to put myself in your shoes. It didn't take me 15 years to get over it, but it did cost me something. It was also because of my pride, arrogance, ego and all those things that are not good that deteriorated my relationship. I was someone's queen too, but in this case it was me who destroyed the castle. Sad! :(