No, I miss my little beasties, deeply miss them, but actually i filled me with joy to share and play with my son, he did not ask as he used to do when i lived there: Papa, tu viens jouer avec moi it was invariably met with a stupid adult reply about either being busy or my inability to go to his level and play because i was thinking of blockchain shit.

He just started playing while on the phone, moving it like a spaceship and what not... I would usually ask him to stop and to put down the phone so i can see his face, but today i kinda understood that he was connecting with me that way and that the roller-coaster telephone video i was being inflicted was US playing... Then he went to his room and fetched a lego batmobile i gifted him a while ago and put the phone on it.

Then it was pijamask Yoyo's car turn, one for me one for him.

I was too stupid in the past to learn to share with them, and well now i am paying the price maybe...

When i was in Grenoble i talked a lot with my friend, hte father of her daughter never has shown any interest and initially i tought what an idiot, but today my son made me understand that i was the same kind of idiot all the times i let those opportunities go away.

If i just had a time machine... Don't we all wish to have one at one point or another?

I realized that i have lost the child inside, i have let it die or wilt, maybe is the Aspie in me I dont know. But i need to find and save my inner child, now that i think of it, i am guessing the Roland, the hero Cowboy from the dark tower took Jake under his wing not as a father, he was sacrifiying himself to save his inner child... I need to go back to reading, hell how i used to love reading before the presbitia set home in my eyes...