When Expectation Becomes Pressure.
The rain had just stopped falling when Mommy Kemi’s loud and thick voice echoed down the street, then everybody in the neighborhood already knew that she was preparing for one of those her important family meetings, the type she called anytime something was bothering her spirit as she always said it.
P
There Inside the living room, Kemi was sorted on the couch, she was scrolling through her phone, pretending not to hear her mother who was pacing around.
“Kemi!..."
“Ma?”
“Oya o come to the sitting room, Now now o, Your uncle is almost here.”
Kemi sighed and dropped her phone, she already knew where this meeting was heading, So at 26, she had heard the same kind of speech so many times that she could practically recite them in her sleep, "Marriage, career, responsibility, and of course, how she should start behaving like a proper woman." Those kind of speech.
And just as she was adjusting herself on the couch, her Uncle Jide walked in, smiling much widely.
“Ahn Ahn, my daughter, Omo.... You are looking fresh o” he said, pulling her into a half hug.
“Good afternoon sir,” she replied, keeping her smile small.
Her mother didn’t waste time, “Jide, talk to her,” she said, “Please talk to your niece, she is giving me serious headache o.”
Kemi rolled her eyes, “Mommy na, nobody is giving anybody headache.”
“ See this girl o, Will you just keep quiet there? at your age, see your mates—”
“ohhh there we go,” Kemi muttered under her breath.
Uncle Jide sat down on the couch , adjusting his cap like he was about to deliver a sermon.
“Hmmm Kemi,” he began gently, “your mother is just worried, you know how life is, parents always have this kind of expectations, we want to see you settled, we want to know you are secure.”
Kemi leaned back “But what if your version of secure is not my own version?”
Mom hissed loudly, “Can you imagine this girl? when did you become a philosopher? what do you even want in this life sef....?”
Kemi thought about it, then she said quietly, “Mom see I just want to find my own pace, my own path, I want to be genuinely happy… my kind of happy and not anybody’s checklist.”
The room went silent for a moment, Uncle Jide cleared his throat, “But that is exactly why we are talking, We expect you to chase something, a goal, a dream,anything.”
Kemi smiled, “Uncle, I have dreams, I just don’t shout it everywhere na.”
Mom threw her hands up dramatically, “Which dream ehn this girl? the writing you are writing inside phone? does writing feed anybody?”
Kemi laughed, “Mommy please na, you know, people earn from writing now, It is not like before again.”
“The one you are earning?” Mama asked, raising a brow.
“Well…” Kemi paused, “It is coming.”
Mother hissed again, “Expectation! that is your own expectation, expectation that money will somehow fall from the sky.”
Uncle Jide laughed softly, “Sister, calm down please.” Then he turned to Kemi, “Look my dear, nobody is saying you should not live your life, but expectation is like this....” He intertwined his fingers “It binds people together, See parents expect their children to do well, Children expect support, Society expects everyone to follow some kind of rhythm, do you get?”
Kemi nodded, “ Uncle I get that, but sometimes expectations does choke people.” She sighed, “Sometimes, you people forget we are human beings, not projects.”
Her mother opened her mouth to respond, but for once, she didn’t interrupt.
Kemi continued, “You expect me to marry, to work a stable job, to buy land, build house… everything at once, but me, I expect peace, I expect growth, not pressure.”
The room fell quiet again.
Uncle Jide smiled, “See Expectation is not the problem, It is infact the pressure behind it.”
Her mom looked away, now pretending to straighten the throw pillows on the couch , “ Kemi o, see I just want the best for you,” she said softly.
Kemi walked over and held her hand, “I know, mummy, but let me grow… and in my own way.”
Mother glanced up at her daughter for a long moment and finally breathed out, “Okay o I have heard you , but at least promise me one thing ehn...”
“What Mom?”
“That you will not disgrace me , Ever....”
Kemi burst into laughter, “Mommy, who is disgracing who?”
Even Uncle Jide started laughing.
Her Mom shook her head, Ehn ..this girl will not kill me o.”
Then tension dissolved, and for the first time in a long while, they all just talked normally, there was no lecture or shouting, nothing stiff hanging in the air, and so as the evening breeze drifted in through the window, Kemi then realized something, Expectations will always exist in this world, everywhere, but then she doesnt have to lose herself trying to meet all of them, and sometimes, the only expectation that truly does matters… is the one you set for your own self.
