Tales of a bartender

To be a fly on the wall… being a bartender is probably the closest I could ever get to being a fly on the wall. Working with all kinds of personalities, I am often involved in some interesting exchanges. As I interact with each person, virtual strangers, I’m quite surprised at some of the things I experience or witness. Now, most people are a pleasure but some are quite a pain. So, I’m going to share a pill I encountered last night.

This guy sits at the bar, by himself, and orders some food and a beer. Handing him his beer, I begin to engage in some light small talk. I do this with everyone to ensure that they are comfortable and to break the ice. Ultimately, I want everyone to have a good time.

I will call him Joe as to not use his real name. So Joe tells me he’s retired but not doing what he’d like to be doing. Keeping the conversation light, I respond with, “well living at the beach while figuring it out doesn’t sound all that bad…”. He agrees with me and then proceeds to ask me, “are you working on another vocation?”. 🧐 Mind you, we haven’t even exchanged names yet.

Which the question itself isn’t bad but didn’t feel the genuine curiosity of the question. It felt more like there was an expected right answer measured by his standard stick. I chuckled a bit and said “No!” Figuring he’d just leave it at that. I went and got his food from the kitchen and placed it in front of him. Without skipping a beat he says something about me not living up to my full potential and why wouldn’t I be trying to amount to something else. Haha

At this point, I’m a little guarded but more so interested in where this might go so I oblige him. I tell him that I like what I do; that I graduated summa cum laude from San Francisco with a degree in communication. I tell him that after graduation, rather than being met with a new job, I was quickly met with the responsibility of paying back my student loans. I tell him that bartending has not only enabled me to get a bachelors degree but is now how I am able to pay back what I borrowed as well as practice most communication theories I’ve learned over the years.

He sat back slightly stunned that I had such an answer laying in wait. What I haven’t shared with you yet is this idea that was insinuated that I haven’t lived to my full potential and therefore wasn’t in some way successful in life by Joe’s standards.

What I didn’t share with Joe is that I’m probably the happiest I ever remember being in my life and organically so. I didn’t tell him that each day, I am so grateful for the peace and tranquility that resides within me that I look upon everything as a blessing.
Nor did I share with him that today, I’ve minimized all of my worldly possessions and life to free myself from the heavy shackles of societal expectations.

I’m fairly certain that Joe didn’t mean any harm by his fetal questions but am acutely aware that as part of society, the more one strays from normative behavior, the more that person is marginalized. You see, this person made a quick judgement upon someone based on perceptions that have been reinforced by our society probably his entire life. Why are we so quick to do that? In a day and age where a majority of people cannot go to work, pick up groceries or carry out any other simple daily function without washing a happy pill down with a glass of wine, why is the jovial person serving you your beer the one not living up to their potential?

These standards of success have been so perverted by us that we fail to realize what’s truly important. Isn’t achieving peace and happiness also a measure of success? Why must everything have financial equity in order to be valued? I’d like to think that passing out smiles is just as valuable, if not more so than, passing out dollars. Can’t we positively measure ones moral and ethical code as a reflection of success…? I believe that some of these boxes we are confined to are a hindrance to our spiritual development. The oppression of the almighty group enforcing the belief that we all must graduate college, attain a career, get married, buy a home, have children, and continue to pass this notion on sounds insane to me. Breaking out of the restraints of this box is emotionally and spiritually liberating for anyone. Today I cheers the misunderstood, the outsiders, the marginalized, the non conformers of society. Thank you to those that continue to blaze a trail inspite of what others expect of you.

And this was just one story of many interesting interactions I have between people. Like I said in the beginning, most people are a delight and many light up my evening regularly. This is a photo of a bartender enjoying her job and her customers. Thanks for reading!