You have been through a lot lately.

I have been doubting your existence for a long time now.

I told you this morning during our chat, how I felt about this heart breaking news. There's no worse feeling than losing somene who you truely love. My heart is filled with anger.

I needed to have alcohol before I could even read again this story of yours. I also wish this is a dream.

I know how steemit means a lot to you, so I am taking my time to write here. Just like you, I have been trying to be silent and we both know how life is so cruel.

It's okay if you haven't read my letter a few days ago. I understand that you had to take care of other stuff but I was real what I told you this morning. The flowers. I am really sorry.

You stay strong. I am your friend, remember? I am sorry you had to leave her alone this morning but you needed to. Right now, I wish I can fly there but it'll won't help me recover from everything that am still going through. I do not even really know what is happening. I do not even understand why this is happening. Why do you have to suffer so much. Why do we have to suffer anyways?

should I say it's better that she ended her suffering now, because that's what I thought when I heard about my aunt passed away, long time ago. This is really upsetting. Do others even really care? Why on earth are we even still here? What's the point really?

Am sorry, how you feel right now.

I have so much guilt in me, i wanted to talk to you but I was upset because I thought this isn't real. I don't even make sense..

See? When I get really emotional, I sometimes don't make sense or maybe most of the time.

I am upset beause you have been doing a lot for the Filipinos, but to be honest, a lot of them don't even bother to visit or read your blog. Did you know/ of course you know.

Can I be so pissed now? Can I swear at every human being I really hate right now or should I just keep balming myself and keep torturing myself?

How do I even manage to talk about this when you are in the process of grieving? It is really upsetting.

I want to cheer you up. How I can even do that, If have been grieving since I was younger?
How do we manage to stay breathing with all this?

When the world has been cruel with all of us and yet we still call it a happy place.

My words are all over the place now..

Don't you wish we can turn back time? but there is no turning back, Terry Never!

We all need a cry aren't we?

I have a really good life now but why am I still sutck in this grieving process?

I do not even know your mom... but I know her based on your sties and the stuff that you shared with me during our chats. I thought it would great to see you with her. You have everything planned for the near future...

but the future doesn't always belong to us...

When things are almost getting in place but then the next you'll wake up and its all shattered...

You told me to stay strong... Strong? Maybe tomorrow when I wake up I'll foget about all this... When you want to scream to the universe why do we have to feel the pain?

why grieving is so common?

Am sorry this is happening and is so sudden... am sorry if cannot be there ight now for I am not even well..

I am sorry life is really cheating... I am sorry if cannot even sugarcoat it because that is really happening...

I sorry if I have to feel really sorry... but I am really sorry for everything that you have been through....

Normal people won't feel the same...